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Not in the clamor of the crowded street, not in the shouts and plaudits of the throng, but in ourselves, are triumph and defeat.--Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
REDIRECT ALERT! (Scroll down past this mess if you're trying to read an archived post. Thanks. No, really, thanks.) Due to my inability to control my temper and complacently accept continued silliness with not-quite-as-reliable-as-it-ought-to-be Blogger/Blogspot, your beloved Possumblog will now waddle across the Information Dirt Road and park its prehensile tail at http://possumblog.mu.nu. This site will remain in place as a backup in case Munuvia gets hit by a bus or something, but I don't think they have as much trouble with this as some places do. ::cough::blogspot::cough:: So click here and adjust your links. I apologize for the inconvenience, but it's one of those things. Thursday, January 31, 2002
Samuel Mockbee
Mr. Mockbee's passing is no longer a news item, but today was the first time I have checked the Auburn University website in a while, and I noticed the tribute page link. I am fortunate to have had the opportunity to meet Professor Mockbee when he spoke to our Professional Practice class back in 1987. I have always regretted having graduated before he became a full time professor at Auburn, and often wonder how different my life would have been had I been one of his students. He was a fine man who loved people, and dedicated his time and talent toward helping others. He was a humble man of extraordinary genius, and made Alabama a better place.
Antipodean Oppressor Takes on the Stupidworld
Tim Blair collects some of the differences between us'n'them. Score is 2-nil for us.
Lileks Becomes a Doper!
Today, Mr. Lileks Joins the Teeming Millions in their War on Ignorance. As you all can tell if you read this blog or the stuff on my homepage, I am a big fan of James Lileks and of The Straight Dope, so this promises to be a good thing.
Hey Mama, git me my waders and a shovel
'Cause it sure is getting deep in here. Subtitled, A Little Barrel Fishing. This little saga gets stupider and stupider, especially in light of the kidnapping of reporter Daniel Pearl. Clark, baby, this crap is tiresome and makes a mockery of everything you claim to support-- From Huntsville Times political editor John Anderson's column in today's paper, the lede: Asking Clark Bowers about his trip to Afghanistan is like plopping a big pot of pinto beans on the stove, turning the switch on high, and tooling over to the neighbor's to watch the Super Bowl. Expect stuff to boil out all over the place. Amen. "I am hyperactive and very analytic," Bowers conceded during one of several interviews this week, interviews that veered into side trips to discuss Greek philosophy, British literature, and the herding habits of the national media. "It's not a blessing. It's my Achilles' heel." Poor guy. First he was hyperbolic, now he's hyperactive. And then there's that danged heel thing. You know, Clark, my Achilles' heel is trying to give people the benefit of the doubt when I think they might be in trouble, then getting royally chapped when it becomes apparent that they circumvented my B.S. detector. He also referred frequently to other international adventures that he said have included single-handedly arranging the delivery of a half-million care packages to American soldiers fighting the Gulf War and monitoring an election in Angola. Now one thing that must be said here, is that Clark Bowers has not made the claim that he helped Al Gore invent the Internet. Yet. Bowers knows that those and numerous other claims on his extensive resume, some as yet unconfirmed, have a naturally skeptical media doubting his trip to Afghanistan ever happened. Bowers insists he's ready to take on all doubters later this week with a detailed report verifying his resume claims. That promises to be a great read! But for now, Bowers has agreed to tell the story people ranging from the U.S. State Department to the local FBI to members of the international media want to hear. Mr. Bowers, the story I most want to hear is why you felt compelled to move to Alabama--have we not been punished enough? For my part, I would much rather have the national media interview lard-assed, gap-toothed survivors of a trailer park tornado than to have to endure this doof. From the start of his long narrative, Bowers wants to make one thing clear: "I don't in any way think I'm a public hero." Translation="I don't think I'm a public hero--darn it, I KNOW IT!" Clark determines to do his part after September and travels to Rome (that's in Italy, you know!) several times to meet with the Afghan king in exile. It was during that trip and a second one in early November that Bowers became a confidante of the elderly king and his public representative, his grandson Prince Mostafa. They agreed that Bowers might get vital information back to the king about the circumstances in southern Afghanistan during a time the American government was focusing almost exclusively on the northern alliance to take out the Taliban. So between the two trips to Rome, Bowers undertook a "first-person fact-finding trip'' into southern Afghanistan as America prepared to wage its battle in the north. Gosh, this sounds real excitin', don't it! Real James Bond kind of stuff! He immediately met anti-Taliban clan leaders in the south perplexed that America seemed bent on fighting its war against the Taliban only with the Russian-supported northern alliance. "All you heard every hour and every day" from Washington was "northern alliance," Bowers said, even though the alliance contained almost no representatives of the Pashtuns, the largest ethnic bloc in Afghanistan, concentrated in the southern province of Kandahar. "There were no CIA guys, nobody doing anything in the south," Bowers said. You see there! Just like ol' James Bond--ain't no CIA nowhere, but our boy Clark's on the ground, large and in charge! What a tiger! He soon met Pashtun leader Al-Haj Gul Agha Shirzai, who would soon surprise Washington with his military prowess in taking Kandahar city. [...] Bowers and the powerful warlord became friends - Shirzai nicknamed Bowers "Tiger." Through him, Bowers said, he recorded on video two pivotal meetings of "all the key (anti-Taliban) leaders in that part of the world." Clark the Tiger! Tigernator! Tigerrrrrrrr! Those wacky, wacky warlords and their funny nicknames! And that video! WOW! I see a new TV show developing out of this--we can even call it "Those Wacky Warlords." And it'll have guys in mud huts and they'll complain about stuff and they'll roll their eyes when the clumsy comic-relief-guy trips while carrying a stack of land mines and there will be all sorts of hijinx when they have to hire a new secretary and it's a woman, but it's okay because she wears a burqa by choice, but then we find out that it's really Clark dressed in drag and they all laugh and play buzkashi. "I found myself with such unique, ridiculous access through either my stupidity or courage," Bowers said. "I was the only non-Afghan in the room." I'm sure it was through your courage, o mighty Amreekan Tiger. But did you notice that whenever you turned around, people guiltily stopped talking and pointing and laughing? Bowers said he also met a high-ranking mullah, or Islamic religious leader, thought to be a Taliban ally, who gave him a letter to take back to the king in Rome. Although he hasn't had the letter translated, Bowers said, an interpreter told him the mullah wrote that "he would fight for the king" under certain conditions. The mullah, through the interpreter, told Bowers: "I am entrusting this with your life. Destroy it if you are captured." "No one must know that our beloved king and I are swapping term papers! But it must be done, praise Allah, for Mullah Omar has my back like, LITERALLY against the wall this term, and His Highness got a 93 on his last one about Columbus, and I have already done him the favor of providing the last lab assignment! Go, Clark, go! Fly like the djin!" Bowers rushed back to Rome to the king. He also went to the U.S. Embassy there because "(Vice President Dick) Cheney or (President George) Bush needed to know" about the undeveloped anti-Taliban potential in the South. There Bowers said he met with the embassy's Army and Air Force attaches. "I was trying my hardest to give them a heads up," Bowers said. "Must...get...information...to...my...best...friend...the...President...!" "I had my camera. They believed everything I said." Uh-huh. Did you happen to have another camera to see their reaction when you left the room? Prince Mostafa even asked his advice on what to tell a CNN correspondent about the attempts at building a new Afghan government, and the king asked him to tell a waiting George Stephanopoulos with ABC News he'd be 20 minutes late for a scheduled interview. Stephanopoulos, upon Bowers' words, immediately asked that Bowers go get him a cup of coffee and a magazine or something. "I got to know all the king's people," Bowers said. Wow! Even Colonel Tom? Did you see Priscilla anywhere? Bowers said he was amazed despite the pain how his mind and body struggled to keep from showing fear and anguish. "It was sort of like a third-person (experience). It was like it was not happening to you." Hmmm. Bowers credits his refusal to cry out to the area's culture, which respects stoicism in the face of great danger. He thinks his response to the torture was part of the reason his captors decided to free him. "This stoic CIA agent mocks us with his hardiness! Satan has bestowed a great blessing on him to withstand such trials--the fruits of such interrogation rot on the ground before us. By Allah it appears that we have no choice but to allow this Tiger of the Khyber Pass to return to the land of perdition and to his wives, lovely actress Morgan Fairchild and supermodel Kathy Ireland." He said he endured the torture, and mock executions with a pistol to his head, by thinking of favorite songs, such as "God Bless America," "Amazing Grace," the Survivors' "Man Against the World," and George Michael's "Don't Let the Sun Go Down on Me." Wake me up, before you go-go! Bowers suspects a main reason his captors finally released him was because they feared an approaching anti-Taliban group would be angry to find a dead American in their group. I think they feared you would start singing George Michael songs, instead of just thinking about them. After his release somewhere in the vicinity of Kandahar province, Bowers went to see Shirzai, who by now had become the province's post-Taliban governor. Shirzai interrupted a meeting of his Cabinet when Bowers arrived for a joyful reunion. "He hugged me," Bowers said. "You've just been kidnapped and tortured--Hey Clark, where ya gonna go?" "I'm going to go to ShirzaiLand!" Because, even though these 23 burns on my arms are painful and oozing, I feel a hospital trip would unnecessarily delay me in my quest to hug a warlord every day. And so, Bowers ends his tale where he started it: He wants no public kudos, no money-making appearances or book deals, no medals for following to Afghanistan the sentiments of a favorite poem he recited Tuesday night: "I am only one, but I am one. "I can't do everything, but I can do something. . . . And that which I should, by the Grace of God I shall do." Man, I see a tidal wave of glurge headed to an inbox near you! "Hello, you don't know me, but my name is Clark, the Tiger of Afghanistan. I don't want public kudos, or to make money by appearing in public or writing a book, and I don't want a medal for the sacrifices I have made in defense of our beloved Homeland. But I do want to make sure that should I ever be kidnapped from my home in Harvest by rogue elements of the Iraqi secret service or members of al-Qaida, that my family's needs will be taken care of..." So anyway, here ends yet another episode of Thrillseeker Follies. It's worth remembering that Mr. Bowers has occasionally claimed the honorific "Doctor." Around these parts, Ph.D. means Piled Higher and Deeper. Wednesday, January 30, 2002
Bastard-Americans rise up in anger at OSHA regs
James Lileks' Newhouse News Service commentary of today, in which yet another "Your Tax Dollars at Work--Road to Hell Paving Project" is highlighted. Mr. Lileks describes a fine and shining example of the outcome of bi-partisanship, and further proof of the old bromide about witnessing the making of laws and sausages. Hooves and snouts, tails and ears--TAILS AND EARS! (You'll have to read today's Backfence for that to make sense)
LGF Awesome Rant Winner
Charles sends us to David Lee Beowulf's lair for a nice long chat. And speaking of The Flaming Enema of Death, I'm feeling much better now that Sunday's vengeful poultry has made its way out of my system. So I met my wife at Sabor Mazatlan (or Sabor Latino, or Tower Cafe--it has more names than Johnny Jihad Walker Lindh) and had the Favorita, which includes a big old chile rellano.
What happens when you get good word-of-mouth
"Jailed fighters of the fallen Taliban shout the name of their former foe, but no longer in anger. "We want to go to an American prison," many plead. "
Yeah, you would say that. You're a MAN!
Steve Den Beste looks at the way computer science and mathematics is taught which, as it turns out, is a conspiracy to silence women. Den Beste disagrees, but obviously he has never known how hard it is for a woman to find a decent, gender-appropriate pocket protector!
SEXY BUSH!
Tim Blair asked the question yesterday (or is it today? Dumb ol' International Dateline) "Is W sexy?" Well, all I know is that one of our local radio newscasters Roxanne Holifield thinks he's hotter than lava. Of course, she's one of your bellicose wimmen, so she's biased I guess. Roxanne is a hoot, and has absolutely the best laugh in all broadcast media. Listen to her if you can on the "Rick and Bubba Show" (they have an Internet feed) when she does the news in the mornings at the top of the hour. She was wound up real good this morning talking about the State of the Union (no double entendre intended) speech.
Savage? Inhumane?
Pass the word on to your buds, says Mr. Reynolds. Although it may make some folks squirm, the fear of certain overwhelming retaliation is a pretty strong deterrent among a certain set of folks. The Cold War gave us the theory of "mutually assured destruction;" the corollary in the War on Terror should simply be "assured destruction."
Yeah, this'll work
New touchscreen voting machines for Miami-Dade. Start working on those excuses now--"I was disenfranchised because I don't know nothing about computers." "Whaddya mean I can't vote twice--my mother voted for Gore twice in the last election and she was DEAD!" "AHHHHHH!!! Secret government orgone rays are penetrating my tinfoil hat!" "Electron. Uh-huh, yeah right! It's just a subliminal way of electing Republicans--Elect Ron and that means Ronald REAGAN and that means REPUBLICANS. And you know that all the big computer companies are owned by Republicans."
McWhortle was FAKE!?
Maybe Enron was, too. Interesting way the Securities and Exchange Commission has of educating the public about online fraud, but I kind of like it. In a way, it's a reverse of those stings where local police will send fake Super Bowl party announcement to people with outstanding warrants to get them to show up in one place, then arrest them. I think something like this could benefit the War on Terror, too--just keep McWhortle online and tout it as a way to funnel money to al-Qaida.
This could be a Good Thing
Internet filing of tax returns for FREE! About dadgummed time--I can order stuff all over the web, renew my car tags, buy tickets--and I would have filed electronically long ago if I didn't have to go buy something else to do it with. I am cheap, and I figure I can do well enough with a calculator, pencil, and a stamp. We just about always get back a refund, so being able to simply fill in a form and hitting "send" would be aces. It would be even nicer if all of the stuff that already gets reported to the government--1098s, 1099s, W-2s and the like, would automatically populate the appropriate fields when you log in, then calculate everything after you put in any other deductions or credits like a regular tax program. The idea of helping out with the math comes from the time I got gigged one year when I either divided or multiplied by 2 on some number, which resulted in my reporting that I owed half the tax I was really liable for. I got a letter saying I owed money and was steamed. I called the IRS rep, started going through my return line by line, and then had one of those horrible feelings like you had as a child when the teacher asked you to work a problem on the blackboard and you got all through and were so proud and the kid you hated pointed out that it was wrong and everyone laughed because you added instead of subtracted and you got all flustered and ran crying from the room and hid in the back of the utility room beside the restoom and then were embarrassed once more when the teacher came in to get you and made you sit beside her desk for the rest of the morning because you left without asking. Not that that ever happened to me, understand, I was just making a point. Really, I was. Because the worst thing was having to send in another big check with a nice long letter begging the IRS to forgive me for being unhandy with the ol' number thing. Which was like when you went on a date with this really cool girl...oh, never mind. Tuesday, January 29, 2002
National Lampoon's Afghan Vacation
Mr. Griswald...sorry, Mr. Powers promises to give an in-depth interview in the coming days. "In a brief interview Monday night with The Huntsville Times, Bowers said he would answer questions about his past reluctantly, and only to set the record straight. "I really would rather not have the publicity," he said. "The worst I have done is nothing, but that has nothing to do with the stories I've been reading in the papers." All together now-- "Huh?" "The worst I have done is nothing"--what in the world does that even mean? And if it doesn't have anything to do with what he has read in the papers, again you just have to say "WTF?" "There were cigar-size burns on top of burns," Bowers said. The wounds have begun to scab, and no longer hurt, he said. The initial burns caused great pain, he said, "but after the fifth, sixth, seventh and eighth burn, you don't really have pain. You get used to them." This may very well be true, but I keep getting the vibe from this guy that he enjoys seeing himself as being able to withstand terrible torture. One earlier story had him saying that his captors were angry when he did not cry when threatened--"He didn't like the fact that I wasn't acting scared. He hated the fact that I didn't cry." Sorry, but this sounds like a case of self-aggrandizement and childish prevarication. Maybe I'm wrong. He could be a pathological liar. The SUNY Upstate Medical University website describes it thusly: "A pathological liar believes in the lies, at least at the time that she or he is talking. Their stories tend to be very dramatic. They often portray the person as being smarter, braver, more attractive, or more interesting than she or he really is. Sometimes people begin to catch onto pathological liars because of obvious flaws in the stories. A fairly young man will describe his heroics in the Vietnam War. A homely woman will talk about all the men who fell instantly in love with her. Sometimes the flaws may be more subtle and it may take a knowledgeable person to find them. Often it happens that a pathological liar will be caught by someone who really was a pilot, really lived in Africa, or really was a fashion model. Suspect a pathological liar if: * the stories seem too dramatic or unrealistic * the lies seem to serve no purpose except to impress people or * the lies can easily be shown up Maybe I'm wrong, and I really hope I am. But when it quacks like a duck, it probably ain't an Afghan warlord.
A little light reading
Should any of you ever want to take a gander at the Army's current protocol for dealing with enemy prisoners or detainees, this handy field manual covers all the bases. From the General Dennis J. Reimer Training and Doctrine Digital Library.
When is a door not a door? When a door is ajar.
Everyone is more concerned about security, but sometimes you just have to wonder what goes through some folks’ heads. Yesterday, I went with my wife over to the County Courthouse (same one I wrote about back on January 13) to get her driver’s license renewed. The counter area has just recently been renovated (along with the rest of the building) and it looks a lot nicer. Of course, all the employees now have the ubiquitous scan card I.D.s to get them into the doors which are now all locked with the ubiquitous scan card I.D. readers. Pretty good idea, I suppose. But you know, it looks kind of silly for our steadfast civil servants to walk up to the counter, swipe a card, and go through one of those little swinging doors that is only 2 ½ feet high. In that instance, you just gotta figure that the money spent on wiring a card reader for this nondoor would have been better spent on a couple of “Do Not Enter” signs. If they wanted to get really serious, they could read “Terrorists Do Not Enter.” That would stop ‘em!
Please Don't Fondle the Bricabrac
Gosh, since we can't make any headway on the treatment of the Afghan detainees, let's see if we can make something out of the shocking decision by Justice to require burquas for the room decorations. Best quote: "White House press secretary Ari Fleischer joked about the controversy to reporters Tuesday. "If anybody has any nude statues, bring them to my office; I'll review them," he said. "
Brigadoon Yet Again
Work continues ass over teacups. All the dire predictions of traffic nightmares have largely been put to rest, mainly because the interchange was already a nightmare to begin with. It is heartening to read the nice letters to the editor in both the Post-Herald and The Birmingham News from out-of-towners who stumble into this mess and get lost. They are invariably thankful for the kindness shown by the folks who live here, and by their willingness to go out of their way to give assistance. (We try especially hard to get the Yankees moving on through as fast as we can!) Stupidest story of the past few days was that of a drive-by shooting that occurred about a mile north of the construction zone. Reporters interviewed workers who said they didn't know anything about it until they saw it on the news. Gee, could that be because it was A MILE AWAY? And construction is LOUD? I guess I'm just jealous that I didn't get interviewed--I didn't know about it either until I heard the news--so why not interview me? Of course, I wish to reserve my store for an exclusive interview conducted by Cynthia Gould.
Tired of OPEC? Sue the bastards!
"OPEC is fending off the class-action lawsuit filed on behalf of gas station owner Carl Prewitt by Birmingham lawyer Michael Straus. Prewitt, a gasoline wholesaler, claims that OPEC entered into agreements setting production levels that cause gasoline prices to rise."
God's Gangsta, Bird Lover
This one parodies itself. As does Frank Matthews. Here is a link to the rest of the story. Our own little local scandal, the sordid tale of the Birmingham Water Works sale/transfer/robbery/acid trip is as confusing as Enron, without the sexy sophistication.
John McCain's Least Favorite Roman God
The renovations continue at Vulcan Park, which will hopefully lead to a much nicer facility. The problem with the old park, despite claims that the 1970s modernization work was inappropriate, was the horrible maintenance of the facilities. The entire place had the aura of a neglected strip mall. Vandalism, horrible souvenirs, and pitiful attempts at documenting the history of the statue and park were magnified by non-existent care and cleaning. Hopefully, the renovated facilities will not be allowed to deteriorate again as before, but knowing the way things work around here, maintenance will continue to be an afterthought.
Well, I just tried to publish this stuff and I see that the GeoCities server is down. They must be loading new TINY WIRELESS X-10 CAMERA ads.
Housekeeping
Just a few minutes here to thank some folks for being nice to me. First to InstaPundit Glenn Reynolds for correcting my mistake of who draws the comic This Modern World. (I used the excuse that I am just learning to read and write. I think he bought it.) Second, a hearty ‘thank you’ to Dr. Frank (“the only transatlantic, punk rock musician warblogger”) over at Blogs of War for honoring me with a link. I wrote him last night after I noticed it and he sent a very gracious reply. As I told the good doctor, I am not in the same league with the other folks on his list—I am obviously not a journalist, and the stuff I comment on has a lot of local content which barely interests even the people around here, so I would have to rank myself low on the warblog spectrum. But, I figure every anti-idiotarian voice helps a bit, so here I sit. I also mentioned to Dr. F that blogging allows me a way to vent without continuing to bother James Lileks with ongoing episodes of “The Manifesto of the Alabama Cootifier.” I think I’ll thank Lileks, too, just on g.p. This mess is all his fault, anyway. Next, somewhat related to the foregoing, I notice that alphabetically “Possumblog” falls right before “Virginia Postrel” in Dr. Frank’s list, and right after “PhotoDude,” which means that there are going to be a few folks who mistakenly click the wrong link and land here. I would imagine that this is kind of like when you think you’re drinking a glass of water and something’s not right— there are a few moments of confusion and nausea, then you figure out you’ve gotten a glass of milk, so it’s kind of okay. In the case of the Possumblog, though, you then see that the milk went out of date a week ago. Ah, the dilemma. “Pour it out,” or “Well, I might as well drink it—it’s not curdled.” To those who decide to drink anyway, welcome. Just don’t let me catch you drinking out of the jug. Finally, no bad dreams last night, although my wife woke me up right before the alarm went off this morning with some sort of weird hyperventisnoring sounds. I nudged her and she quit. She couldn’t remember what she was dreaming, but it was apparently unpleasant. As is the continuing distress brought on by my Sunday evening repast noted from yesterday. I feel as though I have redecorated my nether regions in a lovely shade of Day-glo Monkeybutt Red. (This is a new Sherwin-Williams color, by the way.) I leave you with the immortal words of Cheech Marin from the movie Up in Smoke, “Come on ice cream!” Monday, January 28, 2002
You know, I had a very strange dream last night. (Insert dreamy sounding music):
I was asleep downstairs in the dining room underneath the table when I was awakened by a light in the hallway. One of my oldest daughter's friends who was spending the night had turned on the powder room light. The only thing was that my daughter has never had anyone over, and she is eleven. This girl appeared to be college aged. She said she couldn't sleep, and wanted me to read a note she had written to her boyfriend. I was struck by her absolute lack of spelling and grammar skills, and the fact that it all appeared to have been written in longhand leet speak (or "|_337 5|>34|<"). All I could think was "What a twit!" Then I woke up and had to go to the bathroom. Never again will I eat the "Caliente Chicken Tenderloins (Hot)" from Ruby Tuesday at nine o'clock p.m. It really messed up what could have been one of those really good dreams. I'm fixing to turn in right now, and so help me, if I have another dream like that, I'll swear off dreaming entirely. See you tomorrow.
We're Not Last, But We're Trying Harder!
The US Chamber of Commerce rates Alabama's legal climate right close to the bottom. "Participants were asked to give each state a letter grade in each of the following categories: overall treatment of tort and contract litigation, treatment of class-action suits, punitive damages, timeliness of summary judgment/dismissal, discovery, scientific and technical evidence, judge impartiality, judge competence, jury predictability and jury fairness. Alabama was the only state to be ranked as one of the five worst in each of the 10 categories. Mississippi, Louisiana, Texas and West Virginia were common on the bottom tier of state liability systems. " Make of this what you will, but having served on a civil jury in a case of wrongful termination against a large employer, one of the things that made the biggest impression on me was the absolute lack of juror sensibility. What appeared on the surface to be a roomful of normal, reasonably intelligent, everyday people revealed that nine were sharing only one very small, damaged brain. In the end, the other three of us were able to hang the jury, resulting in a mistrial. In a sane universe, and by all rules of jurisprudence, the plaintiff should have been fined or jailed for filing a frivolous lawsuit. But, unfortunately, the idea that Big Corporations Are Always Wrong runs pretty deep. In one particularly testy exchange with a fellow juror, I reminded him that the law required the plaintiff to prove her case, with some kind of testimony that she had been dismissed for filing a workman's comp claim (the only type of dismissal under Alabama law which is actionable for wrongful termination). This evidence was never presented, and I reminded the fellow that it had not. "Well, NO ONE could PROVE that kind of thing!" he blustered. He never saw the irony in that one. The rest of the jurors decided it didn't matter whether Big Company was guilty or not, and decided to try to come up with some amount to compensate the plaintiff. Again, the three of us with three individual brains reminded the rest that it was stupid to discuss compensation for something that had not been proven, and for which the defendant had not been found guilty. They glowered at us and went back to trying to manufacture theories under which the Big Company could be held to task. In all, it was a very frustrating, made all the more so by people whose sense of fairness and reason was swept aside by incredible willful ignorance. The problem did not appear to be one of formal education, but a complete lack of rational thought. The only thing I could compare it to is the "Burn the Witch!" scene in Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Which is appropriate, I suppose.
Enron-Ye Olde Blightey Chapter
Labour tries to ward off nasty associations with Enron. They deny accepting any donations from Enron. "A Labor spokesman called the opposition allegations groundless and added: "The Labor Party has not received any donations from Enron." He said Enron Europe had bought tickets to dinners organized by the party and had sponsored a single event." I'm sure those dinners were meat pies and chips and cost 5 quid apiece.
Corruption in UNICEF? Absurd!
Believe it or not, the perpetrator is not related to George Bush. You know, if UN employees made more money, stuff like this wouldn't happen.
"There must be no glory in jihad."
Steve Den Beste describes the best way to exploit the American victories in Afghanistan: "Better is to make American might look both invincible and workmanlike. American power needs to be viewed almost as a force of nature. The view of Jihad as a romantic and desperate struggle leading to the deaths of infidels must be replaced in their minds with the image of jihadis dying in hordes and accomplishing nothing at all. If America is seen as eager to destroy jihadis, then we will be viewed as evil. Better that we are seen as disinterested, swatting them aside as if they were mosquitoes." Gosh, but wouldn't that hurt the jihadi's self-esteem?
PINEWOOD!
As promised at the end of last week, I must report the outcome of the Pinewood Derby Competition held last Saturday. It turned out to be sort of a let down for my buddy and me--his wasn't the slowest car out there, but danged near it. His car did manage to win one race in one of the elimination heats, but then faded afterwards. But, with every bit of adversity comes a few lessons. First, I believe the boy with the heaviest father should win. Second, even though the Web is full of sites showing how to make your car faster, the winners appeared to have nothing in common with any of those cars. The fastest ones weren't necessarily low slung and smooth--most rattled down the track like boxcars full of palsied crap shooters on meth. Next year, we concentrate more on loose wheels! Third, thankfully, most of the cars looked like they had a goodly amount of little boy hands involved in their construction. The dad factor was pretty low, but I don't know if this was because of a strict adherance to the spirit of the competition or the lack of tool skills among dads. In any event, next year the Possumblog-sponsored entrant will show more boywork in its construction. Finally, the most exciting part for Lil' Boy actually was getting to play with his car after the race was over. I don't quite know how to work that into the car design for next year, but I am glad that he at least wants to play with it, rather than just toss it aside. One of the good things about his car is that it actually can be played with, since it looks like a car rather than a thin, flat (read "highly breakable") plank. So, he will still get some fun out of it. After his race was finished and he collected his ribbon, we went next door to the library and he got his first library card, which he thought was even more cool. And it is. Friday, January 25, 2002
See you Monday, at which time I shall report upon the Pinewood Derby Competition. I hope I...ahh, I mean MY SON, wins big. Wish me... DANG IT, wish HIM luck.
Wither NICS?
James Jay Baker, executive director of the National Rifle Association’s Institute for Legislative Action in Washington, DC, delivers a letter to the editor of the Atlanta Journal-Constitution to refute a position taken by Americans for Gun Safety on state record keeping of gun sales. The unedited version of the letter can be read here. From the article: "In March 2000, the General Accounting Office (GAO) audited the FBI's implementation of NICS. The study revealed deficiencies in the system. The failures are rudimentary; the FBI had no back-up system; instead of building a dedicated database with necessary information, they strung together existing databases (with irrelevant data). Also, this system failed to meet the FBI own system security standards. More perplexing was the Justice Department’s failure to ensure that the funding was properly spent on the "instant check" database. Some sources inside say that money was wasted on fingerprinting equipment. No one knows the truth, because a systemic audit was never performed." (The GAO report can be found here.) Old news, to be sure, but there seems to be a growing restlessness among anti-gun groups who are rankled by John Ashcroft's willingness to ignore the previous Administration's misinterpretation of the Brady Law and NICS. I wrote about this back on January 9 in reference to Deb Reichmann's column. Groups such as the Violence Policy Center and Americans for Gun Safety certainly have a tough row to hoe in the country right now with Americans seeming to be much more tolerant of their fellow citizens who choose to protect themselves with firearms. Give the anti-gunowners credit, though, for having zeal enough to make even the most ardent jihadi proud.
Yet another reason why Alabama needs a new constitution.
Dang it all, if we are gonna have a circus, let's at least get us some showgirls.
Buy some bread so my kids can get an education.
My hometown votes to raise sales taxes by 1% (to 8%) in order to prepare a education fund to be used in the event of a split with the county school system. Due to a huge financial scandal in the recent past, the Jefferson County Board of Education has had to fight to regain the trust of parents and forestall drives by the various communities within the system to secede and form their own systems. For parents, the goal is having the best education for their kids. I have four children in the Trussville schools, and I have always been satisfied that the teachers have done an outstanding job. The administrators and teachers are responsive and caring. The financial mess Jeffcoed stepped into was stupid and avoidable. So too were the moves by the Board to single Trussville out for punishment when it came time to cut the budget to correct the hemmoraging. Reneging on its financial commitments and disproportional cuts to teaching staff only increased the rumblings in the community for a pullout. The Board is right to push hard to keep municipalities from leaving--without a sufficient base of taxpayers, the entire system is in jeopardy, with poorer neighborhoods suffering the most--but parents and taxpayers are rightly leary of allowing their money to be again be flushed down a great big toilet. The last few months have seen raprochement of sorts be made between the Board and the city, and it appears that should Trussville vote to leave the system, the Board will negotiate the transfer of assets in good faith. The question of how we will then fund our own schools then comes up again. As with every other public program, the short answer is taxes. But. Most parents I know, including me, are willing to pay to support good schools. We don't want our money wasted, and we expect results. Human nature apparently makes us want to see if we can get anyone else to foot the bill, though, and such is the case with using sales taxes (or a cut from gambling, or a lottery, or sin taxes) to fund schools. The State of Alabama has just gone through a terrible bout of education budget proration. The cause? Reliance on volatile sales tax revenues, which fell far short of projections this year, to fund the education budget. The fluctuation of revenue can and will happen again, no matter the location, including here at home. Right now, Trussville enjoys a bounteous harvest of sales taxes from several large shopping centers which draw consumers far in excess of our population. That can change tomorrow. This also doesn't even touch the fact that sales taxes are regressive, and most hurt the poor (who benefit most by education). Effective funding of schools requires a stable source of revenue. One way or another, the bill has to be paid. Sales taxes, lotteries, excise taxes on booze and smokes all have value, (and the allure of something-for-nothing) but none offer the necessary stability. Although it goes against the grain of Victim-Americans and Entitlement-Americans and Non-Product, Agricultural-Americans, the best source of adequate, stable revenue is either property or income taxes. Since local municipalities in Alabama are very limited in the way in which they can tax payrolls, that only leaves one other source. Let's do this--reduce (or even remove) the sales tax on groceries, and increase property taxes enough to make up for the lost grocery money and then enough to pay the local school bill. "Gee, that's gonna be expensive!" Yes, but you are the one who said you wanted to get out of the county system and pay your own way. It's just that now you don't have a million people helping pay the bills.
Wacko Jacko's Fansite No More
In one of those "who cares" type stories the big kids run on slow news days, we find that the Michael Jackson Internet Fan Club website is being shuttered. Hope they let NAMBLA know so they can clear the dead link.
He's a poet
And he knows it His feet sure show it-- They're Longfellers The force of Will. Mock him not. Thursday, January 24, 2002
"John Loves America"
A father's tender mewling. After the hearing, Walker's father made a plea for understanding. "John loves America," Frank Lindh said of his son. "We love America. John did not do anything against America. He is innocent of these charges." Well, yes, technically he is innocent. In America, one accused of crimes is innocent until proven guilty. So, yes, he's innocent. For now. The part that just somehow seems disengenuous from Talidad is that bit about John loving America. Gee, John, there are better ways to show someone you love them than by trying to kill them. Just ask O.J.
Dadgum stinking electrons and holes and crap! The silly FTP is working again for now, so everything is back to normal. In the post-September 11 sense of normal, of course.
Wal-mart is "Low Brow"? Well then, what does that make Family Dollar?
Shiloh Bucher defends the odd idea of paying less money for the same item which elsewhere sells for more. Some insane concept known as "Value." What a capitalist puppet.
Tomorrow's Punditry Today
Tim Blair posts a pull-apart by an American reader of Margo Kingston's Enron article in the Sydney Morning Herald. Tim also manages to work in a shocking exposé of further brutal torture suffered not by Guantanamo political prisoners, but by the wage-slaves of capitalist sports team owners, who torture their workers by compelling them to wear ridiculous mascot outfits.
Defending the Undefendable
Steve Den Beste comments on Taliboy's D-team. As he says regarding James Brosnahan: "I've mentioned before that a defense lawyer has an obligation to do the best he can for his client, even if it's ludicrous. But that doesn't mean the rest of us have to take him seriously when he does." No public comment yet from Mr. Walker-Lindh, but look for him to plead for release to go find the real terrorists.
If This is Brutality, Give Me a Stay at Guantanamo!
James Lileks' Newhouse News commentary on the treatment of detainees at Gitmo. Shooting fish in a barrel is not sporting, but when they keep taunting you, whaddya gonna do?
Gat-packin' Roosevelts
National Review Online article by Dave Kopel detailing the use of personal firearms for self-defense. Most interesting is ol' Eleanor's view. As Glenn Reynolds says, "Does Hillary know about this?" Yes, but it's obviously another part of the vast right-wing conspiracy, so it's best ignored.
Steal this Shirt!
Free Winona? Yes! She will be attempting to generate short-term revenue through push-marketing banner ads. As more of the "Not-com" celebrities move to a pay model, Winona insists she will be able to capitalize on intensive cross-synergies in the burgeoning extra-legal personal property acquisition field and the more traditional product placement endorsement avenue. In the longer term, Ryder also is expected to raise capital from a much anticipated IPO, and is reported to be finalizing a proposal for this new venture under the name Five Finger Discount. Wednesday, January 23, 2002
Oh, Spare Me!
Brit pols upset by cowboy Rumsfeld. Gee, we must be doing something right. From the article: At a Pentagon briefing on Tuesday, Rumsfeld said it was easy for critics to carp from a "comfortable distance". "It's amazing the insight that parliamentarians can gain from 5,000 miles away," he said in singling Britain out. British lawmakers, notably from Prime Minister Tony Blair's own party, said they deserved better than sarcasm having stood unflinchingly by the United States when it attacked Afghanistan. Yes, and we deserve better than being constantly hounded by British lawmakers from Tony Blair's own party about living conditions which are being monitored by both the Red Cross and the British government. Unflinchingly? Well, they're certainly flinching now, it seems. "We've supported the United States. It seems rather crass to dismiss legitimate concerns out of hand," Ann Clwyd, Labour MP, said. "We don't want to be insulted by Donald Rumsfeld." What is crass is to spout twaddlewash about things you have no knowledge of, and to jump upon the "evil American oppressors" bandwagon, then expect our government to keep silent. If you don't want to be insulted by Donald Rumsfeld, refrain from opening your mouth, unless it is to buy a vowel. Menzies Campbell, foreign affairs spokesman for the Liberal Democrats, said the "war on terror" was not just about military action in Afghanistan but winning hearts and minds in the Middle East and Arab world. "We here in Britain may be 5,000 miles from Cuba. But we are much closer to the Middle East than (Rumsfeld) is in Washington," he said." And you are much closer to being an ass than 5,000 miles. Anyway, since you are so close, are you willing to take over the "war on terror"? No matter how close you are, we still have to come all the way over there and do the heavy lifting. Human rights groups say the United States has no right to refuse to categorise the detainees as prisoners of war, a designation that would give them extensive rights under the Geneva Convention. "It really isn't up to Rumsfeld to decide whether they are prisoners of war," Clwyd said. Oh crap, not you again. No, Mr. Rumsfeld is acting on my behalf. And I am the one who decides their status. Who am I? An American citizen. Clwyd, who heads the cross-party parliamentary Human Rights Group, met the number two at the U.S. embassy in London on Wednesday to raise her concerns along with eight other MPs. "There was really a lot of outrage about Mr Rumsfeld's comments," she said. There was much outrage by Terry Oglesby to the comments made by Ms. Clwyd and her turdherding band of 8 other MPs . But Donald Anderson, Labour chairman of parliament's Foreign Affairs Select Committee -- the watchdog of government foreign policy -- said MPs had been right to ask questions. "Some of those (concerns)...may have been allayed. Others remain," he told Sky Television. "It is not for the captor to decide unilaterally whether they are prisoners of war or not." Well, these people do not fit any defined term found in the Geneva Convention, and are therefore relatively lucky to be alive and able to plead their case. They could have simply been shot. He said the images of the detainees in cages could hamstring potential allies and act as perfect recruiting material for militants in the Arab world. "Countries who may want to cooperate may find it more difficult because their own populations may be made angry." Gosh, an actual reason to hate us rather than making something up out of thin air. Actually, it just might be a deterrent to pitching fully loaded airliners at Twin Tower wickets. Chris Patten, European Commissioner and former chairman of the Conservative Party, also warned the Americans they risked alienating allies around the globe. "Having won the (military) campaign it would be a huge error if the international coalition were to lose the peace," he said Uh-huh. It's "we" in victory. How very quaint, eh wot.
SEXY!
CNN hires away Connie Chung. You know, I have stayed out of the whole Paula Zahn thing because 1. Nobody reads this, and B. Because I think she's not that sexy. Paula is pretty, but I remember her from the CBS earlymorningcloneoftheTodayshow and I thought she was, well, (sotto voce) real Yankee-like. Just a little too self congratulatory, or something. Connie on the other hand, is HOT! And while we're at it, so is Norah O'Donnell on NBC, and Julie Chen on CBS, and Victoria Cha on NBC, and Soledad O'Brien on NBC, and Ann Curry on NBC, and my all time favorite, Wheeling, West Virginia's own Jodi Applegate (now exiled to the horrid wasteland better known as the home of Cliff Claven.) And I believe this bears repeating, but each of these women, just like Sela Ward, are wholly nude underneath all of their clothing.
Well, what use is there in having both a personal website AND a blog, if you can't cross promote them? SO, check this little bit of vanity surfing, in which I post links to conversations I became entangled in over on the Straight Dope Message Board. They are guaranteed to make you sleep fitfully.
Shakedown
Yet again, The Irreverent Jesse Jackson asks that minority-owned financial firms (or "firms of color" to use his term) be judged not on the content of their character, but on the color of their skin. Well, we know what Jesse is, so it's now only a matter of negotiating the price.
City of Birmingham is not Best Buy
Conviction of City MIS employee Keri McIntosh (funny, all we use are PCs) for walking out with $81,000 in taxpayer owned computers. From the story: The city reported losing more than $81,000 in computer equipment, which will mostly be covered by insurance. McIntosh must cover the insurance deductible. McIntosh has also agreed to reimburse at least three people who bought stolen computers from him. JUST THE DEDUCTIBLE?!
Bowers Calls Traced to Pakistan
I'm sure Mr. Bowers would appreciate the media laying off trying to track down all the loose ends of his story. If everyone knows the truth, the old hyperpole on the resumé just won't look the same. "I was kidnapped and tortured by an Afghan warlord" has a nice ring, but "I faked being kidnapped and tortured by an Afghan warlord" just really kind of goes against the grain.
Alrighty, now, Wednesdays are hereby proclaimed to be Trussville, or Other Suburbs in the Eastern Portion of Jefferson County Blog Days!
First up, Brenda Rogers, Evil Bank Teller Exemplifying what life for an average small town American woman is like. [sarcasm] And because she is an average small town American woman, she is evil. Her husband is a state trooper, so they are well aware of the violence inherent in the system. And she keeps poor helpless animals caged in inhumane conditions. The horror. And for all of our Middle Eastern Taliban brothers, the shameless daughter of perdition even knows how to read. O the agony. [/sarcasm] Next up, John Henry was a steel drivin' man, and like Charles Barkley, a Leeds resident. The Round Mound of Rebound and the Sepia Sledgehammer. Who'da thunk. Well, not the folks in Talcott, West Virginia! We now return you to your regularly scheduled bloggage. And please note, Sela Ward is still quite naked under her clothing. Tuesday, January 22, 2002
Sela Ward is Hot No Matter What!
Despite Birmingham News staff writer Betsy Butgereit Price's snotty little article about Sela's absolutely crappy dress from the Golden Globes, I must say that she most certainly was naked under all of that hideous orange. Yes, it looked like it was wadded-up end of a bolt of hunter orange taffeta. But when you have good old RED AMERICAN BLOOD coursing through your veins, you KNOW that deep down in your heart, Miss Sela was completely, entirely, smoothly, tautly NEKKID under there. Take off that dress, and you see NOTHING BUT SKIN. Firm, porcelain skin. From head to toe. That is what we call here "A Good Thing." I think I'll go get a smoke now.
Thrill Seeker Recap
Commentary from home about Hyperbolic Boy Bowers. As the commentary says, his story better be true. We have enough liars and cheats in Montgomery.
Hey, y'all, let's eat us some dirt.
Front page news from the Birmingham News--"Dirt is an acquired taste." Oh. Here I was, thinking of engaging in a little geophagy, and then I find out that the rich, creamy goodness of soil may taste like dirt. I need somebody I can sue.
Evilbushenrongate. Or not.
James Lileks' latest Newhouse News commentary on the Enron (insert appropriate cliched disaster-type noun). What? Yes, I know I mention Lileks a lot, but it's not like, you know, anything weird. Really!
I Blog Me!
I rated my own mention from noted Australian journalist, commentator, and oppressor Big Daddy Tim Blair. I just noticed this today (I have been tied up in brutal conditions at my house having to endure the fearsome Alabama winter). I had written Mr. Blair a few days ago to thank him for his writings, and for taking a pretty unpopular stand in defending America. Mr. Blair responded with a very heartfelt thank you of his own. Scroll down to the entry for January 20, 2002: "Terry O., of Alabama, sends Australia some deeply appreciated thanks for the kindness shown to his father by Aussie soldiers: "Thank you for the hospitality your countrymen showed to my father while he was stationed in New Guinea during World War II. My dad was always difficult to impress, but Australian soldiers managed to do a good job of it. My dad and his buddies were always on the lookout for food of any sort, occasionally even resorting to conducting unauthorized clandestine interservice requisitions of Army food. Your countrymen, however, extended to him and his friends the kindness of sharing their own meager rations. My dad figured anyone who could enjoy eating tainted canned mutton as much as those Australians were very near to superhumans. Unfortunately, he was not quite up to superhuman status, so he politely refused. The thoughtfulness was still greatly appreciated, however, so on his behalf, thank you." His response to my e-mail: "Thank you very much for your kind note.[...] And please know that, for all the anti-US sentiment you may read about coming from Australia, there is a whole generation of Australians of your father's era who owe their lives to American intervention in the Pacific. Their appreciation is undimmed by the years that have passed. In one of my posts I mentioned my former editor, Ken Edwards. His father and hundreds of others became trapped on an island during the war. Some of the men went insane with fear, knowing the Japanese were approaching, and knowing what the Japanese did to Australian POWs. American forces reached them first. Ken's father was saved by you guys. Ken liked to tell that story whenever any of the younger writers began making anti-US noises. It tended to quiet them down. If you ever get a chance, you should get down here one day. I promise you'd be made feel more welcome than you could believe. Australians know who their friends are. And nowadays the food has improved a little! Cheers, and thanks again for your wonderful note. --Tim" Darned fine fellow! Friday, January 18, 2002
Odd, In a Peculiar Kind of Way
I had to go to the courthouse today to pay my sewer bill, which I decided to do after lunch. Unfortunately, I had forgotten that the new security procedures at the courthouse do not allow citizens to enter if they have weapons of any kind. I always carry two pocket knives—one little tiny keychain thumb opener, and an ancient three bladed Uncle Henry. Their value as weapons is dubious, and they are usually employed as fingernail cleaners and paper trimmers. But they are knives, and even though I was able to carry my very-easy-to-conceal-long-stabby-things-inside-of umbrella through the X-ray machine, knives are a definite no-no. The bad part is that the sheriff’s deputies at the door will not hold stuff for you. This is posted several times with various Xeroxed warnings. Which means that if you show up at the courthouse, forgetting the rule and having on you the pocketknives you carry without a second thought, you must schlep back to your office or car or make someone wait outside for you. I work just across the park, but I really didn’t want to make two trips back and forth just to pay my sewer bill. As I stood there in front of the weird statue of Thomas Jefferson (the head is ridiculously large—almost as if one of our Founding Fathers was host of Wheel of Fortune) an idea came to me. I turned around and walked back down the sidewalk to the Linn-Henley library, which is the old, original Birmingham library with all the cool murals. I walked in and with as much humble library patron persona I could muster asked the desk librarian if she would do me a favor. “Excuse me, but I have to go next door and pay my sewer bill. I’ve got two pocketknives, and you know they won’t hold them for me while I run upstairs. Would it be okay if I--" “You want to leave them here on the desk? Just put them under this thing.” I thanked her a lot, left my tools, went and did my sewerly duty, and then returned, collected my sharp things, and thanked her one more time for her kindness. It just seems odd to me that the librarian was so nonplussed by my fearsome armaments, yet the very same thing could have created a big stink just down the block.
When I first started this blog last month, I posted an entry in which I had corresponded with James Lileks and solicited his opinion on the rapid rise of blogging, and specifically why there seemed to be so many good blog sites and so few really bad ones. I noted that there was a marked contrast to the various bulletin board sites, where civil discourse is as rare as steak Tartar. Well, I reckon I must have screwed everything up. I know you have seen the anti-warblog columns by Tim Cavanaugh and Justin Raimondo. Looks like the blogging medium now has its own brand of trolls. I blame myself—I had to ask where the stupid people are.
Such piles of blustage are usually the realm of the Yahoo!News discussion boards. All I can say to the anti-idiots is DNFTT.
Yes, I've decided ONCE AGAIN to rename this pile of twaddle. It's hard to run with the big dogs of anti-idiotarianism when you are a literary dachshund. So, back to Possumness. Actually, being the slow-moving, omnivorous, prehensile-tailed marsupial of the Web does have its advantages. I'll post again when I can think of them.
Thrill Seeker? Sounds more like a resume padder!
Halfway down the page (why is it none of the stuff I link to can simply be at the top of the page--better yet, why can't the P-H give every story it's own ID?) is Jeb Phillips' latest regarding the wayward Mr. Bowers. Seems to be not so much a thrill seeker as an seeker of the approval of others through the time honored practice of padding his CV. If he was kidnapped, I still think the ransom should be paid one SS109 at a time; but in the interest of fair play, if he's making this up to get attention he needs to be put away. UPDATE---He's out! And in the hands of the FBI. Maybe. Then again, maybe not. SECOND UPDATE He's really, for sure, out. We think. Thursday, January 17, 2002
Well, if InstaPundit.com is the "New York Times of the bloggers," then surely I must be the equivalent of a lunatic with a mimeograph machine. So there!
The Churchmouse That Roared
Barbara Mikkelson's Snopifying of the current controversial use of Across the Centuries in California public schools.
Let's do what's right
You know, when I think of our grievous mistreatment of Taliban and al Qaida prisoners, I can only reflect on my own horrifying imprisonment. Just yesterday, my wife and I were forced to sit in a booth at John’s which had both sets of benches pushed entirely too close to the edge of the table. My sternum was only millimeters away from the table, which itself was much too high for dining comfort. In addition, the patrons on the opposite sides of the benches from both my wife and me subjected us to incredible torture due to their constant shifting and squirming, which pushed both of us into the very nearly sharp table edge. It was all I could do to finish my lightly fried snapper fingers, or for my wife to finish her soup and salad. NO ONE should have to suffer treatment like this! I demand that in the future we be allowed to eat at one of the tables with individual chairs, or that we be allowed a booth with enough space! I want my own Isomat! (NY Times free registration to view that one)
Luxury would disgust me, too, if I could afford it.
Well, now this one makes me so happy—“Giorgio Armani says he is fed up with luxury.” “I'll tell you something. Luxury disgusts me,”…”I want to pay homage to the workers, to the dignity of the workers with their simplicity and straightforwardness,” Armani told reporters backstage as he explained his latest outfits with their flat caps, military boots and donkey jackets. He urged young fashion fans to put their craze for designer labels into perspective. “I want young people to understand that today's world is false. They must understand that it is absurd to prostitute oneself or to steal just to get a designer bag because they think that without it they are nobody,” he said. Asked whether he might also be to blame for the obsession with luxury, Armani pointed to his cheaper clothing lines which include jeans that sell for about 100 euros ($88) a pair compared with his top-of-the-range suits that fetch around 5,000 euros. As I read this, I pointed to WalMart, where jeans cost $18.99, or 21.25 euros compared to the only two suits I own, courtesy of McMillon’s Big and Tall, which cost about 280 euros each. “I have to say that for all the things I design, I put in love and care,” he said. “I do not shut myself away in my workshop, like some others do, to cynically and presumptuously create luxury items.” No, I shut myself away in my workshop to devise ways to find out who makes WalMart’s jeans so I can get them to make some for me that I can sell at Armani prices. Why pay $2,000 for cashmere when you can pay $2,000 for denim and express your solidarity with “the workers.”
Your Tax Dollars at Work
Scroll down about midway to the article by Jeb Phillips, which talks about the end of the City of Birmingham’s hiring freeze. The lede states: ”Etta Dunning hasn't seen her Birmingham Department of Community Development employees work at 100 percent efficiency in months. More like 120 percent, she said. Before Tuesday, she was preparing to tell her employees to aim for 160 percent.” Very likely true, although somewhat misleading, in that comparing the efficiency of civil service workers to private sector workers is a bit like comparing the Wright Brother’s first plane to an F-16. So, “160 percent” would be equivalent to something like a Sopwith Camel.
Brigadoon Part Two
Low bid of $2.09M awarded to a joint venture of Morris Group and Brasfield and Gorrie. And there was much rejoicing. Brasfield and Gorrie have a reputation for honesty and of doing high quality work. Look for the work to be done very quickly. Wednesday, January 16, 2002
The Alabama Constitution, as Written by the Legislature
A short article noting the articles which have been rewritten and passed by the House. Hey fellows, how about rewriting it so that it includes home rule, and maybe something so that we don't have to keep amending the Constitution to pass local laws.
Thrill Seeker Update
The man who was captured with Bowers is now identified as his Afghan interpreter. Congressman Rohrbacher is quoted as saying on Tuesday that "I am very concerned about Clark's health and safe return. I ... hope Clark will return home safely as soon as possible." No word on when Al Santoli will issue a further clarification of his "thrill-seeker" adjective.
Brigadoon
This is several days old, but I did want to mention that ALDOT did decide to accept bids for rebuilding the I-65S bridge, and they are accepting bids today in Montgomery. Although the possibility of crony-enriching still exists even with sealed bids through such things as change orders, this is much less likely than a negotiated contract. ALDOT says that this work should be completed by April.
I like the look of this particular Blogger template so much that I have started using it as the layout for my website. Tuesday, January 15, 2002
Geocities is free, and relatively easy to use. And the ad box you are forced to view is not as obnoxious as some others I have see. But dadgummit, I AM SICK OF THE TINY WIRELESS X10 CAM! ADVERTISEMENT! Supposedly, one can customize one's ad box, depending on one's site classification--"Arts and Literature," "Sports," "Religion and Beliefs," in all, about 50 kabillion different categories--so that ads can be put in that would appeal to whoever is viewing my site based on my preferences. I AM SICK OF THE TINY WIRELESS X10 CAM! which is apparently the only advertiser on Yahoo.
Thank you for allowing me to share.
Tribunals
A good comment from the USS CLUELESS about the value of military tribunals, especially when they are being used to try defendants who might tend to hold a grudge. Mr. Den Beste makes the point that American jurisprudence is geared toward protecting its citizens from the tyrannical abuse of power by our government, while military tribunals are concerned with determining guilt. As Americans, we are willing to accept that a few guilty citizens may occasionally go free as a price of our freedom. However, even if a guilty man goes free, there generally are ways American society can continue to monitor his behavior and insure he has less opportunity to commit further crimes. Not so with al Quaida. The problem is that al Quaida’s actions are not one crime committed by one citizen. It is about multiple crimes committed by an organization engaged in armed opposition to the people of the United States. To attempt to use our criminal system to try combatants who are not citizens of this country, and who could care less about due process, is simply a muddleheaded attempt at pacification. We do not insure justice for society as a whole when we refuse to understand that criminal organizations have no intention of playing fair, or that military action against our people must be met with force. As long as organized criminal groups exist in any form, no matter if it al Quaida or the Mafia, they will continue to commit crimes regardless of the outcome of a trial. As long as there are people willing to take up arms against us, they will. Win, lose, or draw, they will be back, and they will be ready to laugh as they pull the trigger. Can these organizations be fought as if they were just some guy accused of jacking hubcaps? Nope. Can they be fought at all? Yep. Of course, our past successes domestically in such cases has meant locking 'em up for tax evasion. Internationally, though, it would be difficult to surpass Nuremberg as a just example of what can be done to organized murderers. Alas, one wonders if the Nuremberg trials could even be held in today's world. Maybe if columns of Islamic fundamentalists were marching down the Champs-Elysées we would hear less about how Europe has been forced to live with terrorism for so long, and America is only getting what it deserves. You know, Europe also managed to live with the Nazis for years, in the very same way in which they are living with Islamic terrorists now. The teat of appeasement finally ran dry, however, and the idea of allowing Hitler free rein didn't seem like too good of an idea in retrospect. Likewise, maniacal pseudo-religious anti-western sentiment will not die by itself, regardless of how much ransom money we throw its way, no matter how hard we try to be loved, no matter how many of our own innocent people we allow to be sacrificed. Hey, folks, you don't want to live in terror? Get rid of terrorists.
Another Kidnapped American In Afghanistan
Clark Russell Bowers of Harvest, Alabama and another unnamed man have been kidnapped by an Afghan warlord. Bowers is being held for $25,000 ransom. You know, if I were an Afghan warlord, I don't think this would be a smart thing to do, given the events of the recent past. One hopes that a couple of Special Forces companies deliver this ransom at 25 cents a pop, which is about what a 5.56NATO round costs. AN UPDATE In which we learn that the Mrs. Bowers reported the abduction to the State Department and the office of Rep. Dana Rohrabacher, R-Calif., a longtime friend. We also learn that a Rohrabacher aide, Al Santoli, said Bowers visited the congressman's office last fall and Rohrabacher warned him not to go to Afghanistan. "He's a thrill-seeker in a war zone," said Santoli, the congressman's national security adviser. Oh yes, those darned thrill seekers. My opinion? Someone named Al is just a bit ticked off that he didn’t get to tag along with the recent jaunt by thrill seeking Senate members. I can bet you that Rep. Rohrbacher and staff will be on the next flight to Kabul. Monday, January 14, 2002
Just wait till they find out about TiVo!
Khyber Special Satellite Antennas! Get'em while you can! Best part of the story is the quote at the end: "Ninety-five percent of people are interested in getting one. They all tell me that. But they can't afford it yet," said Said Sarwal, building dishes on Qalah Fatullah Street "If the USA will help Afghanistan, we'll all be able to get satellite dishes one day." Cultural hegemony. One customer at a time.
Oh, for the good ol' days
In those wonderful days of yesteryear, prisoners in Afghanistan NEVER had their rights violated. Of course, back then the various groups didn't bother to take prisoners. You know, if it were me, and I had steeled myself to die in my trench and face mutilation rather than capture, the simple fact that I was made a prisoner of the evil Satan America would be pretty galling in and of itself. And then the infidels have the nerve to feed me, and cloth me, and actually put me on trial! Why can't they just let me be a martyr! O the humiliation! And where humiliation stalks, the Europeans can't be far behind. Also, the article states that according to Afghan government sources in Kabul, there is increasing disinclination to deliver prisoners to the Americans because they are likely to be flown out of the country without Washington even seeking the permission from the Afghans. Which is kind of interesting, seeing as how the Americans have asked the permission of Afghanistan at every single juncture up to now--"May we please drop this daisy cutter, uhhhh, overrrr THERE?" "Ah ah ah--not so fast--you did not say 'Karzai may I!"
New Tags! New Tags!
The newest design for Alabama's standard vehicle license plates is now being distributed. [State Revenue Department spokeswoman Carla] Snellgrove said she has not gotten any feedback about the new design. Jennifer Dossett, a bookkeeper in the Etowah County tag department, said she hasn't heard many comments about the new tags but noted the office only began issuing them Jan. 2. She said one person said they "looked cheap." Well, cheap is as cheap does. The problem is not that they are cheap-looking, but that they are offensive. Not in the "bodily fluids as an art statement" kind of way, but that they try so hard to be inoffensive. "Heart of Dixie" has gotten very nearly legislated off the plates, and in its place we get "Stars Fell on Alabama" in great big colorful letters. Yes, stars did fall on Alabama, but unless you are trying to get the astronomy crowd hopped-up, that just doesn't cut it. Why can't we have a good sturm und drang motto like New Hampshire's "Live Free or Die"? Now THAT says something! Of course, our actual state motto is pretty good, too--"We Dare Defend Our Rights," but I'm sure everyone would be too scared by that. Maybe if we made up a better slogan, like "If Ignorance is Bliss, I'm in a State of Nirvana." Or "Our Ten Commandments Are Bigger Than Yours." Or "Leading the Nation in Indicted Public Officials." Or "Howdy, If You Can Read This, You Must Be a Visitor." Or "Teach a Man to Stamp Plates, and He Eats Forever." Oh well. Friday, January 11, 2002
I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation.
A federal grand jury is investigating possible wrongdoing associated with awarding consulting contracts by members of the former Birmingham City Council. Best quote? Bell said constant accusations about the contracts by Kincaid and his allies during the campaigns might have prompted the federal investigation. "I'm not surprised about this," Bell said. "The current administration is hellbent on finding something. That's all that is," Bell said. Ex-councilwoman Sandra Little also said she thinks Kincaid pushed for an investigation to discredit his opponents. "I think he probably initiated some of that stuff," Ms. Little said. "That sounds like him." Uh-huh.
Well, I have now officially changed the title of my blog to THE ANTI-IDIOTARIAN. This was done in response to a question I posited to one of my favorite authors James Lileks (as detailed in other parts of my website) dealing with the whole idea of bloggery. It was through lileks.com that I was first exposed to the war blog phenomenon and to software such as Blogger, and reading all of the wonderful sites out there is what prompted me to start my own bit o’crap. One observation I related to Mr. Lileks was that there seemed to be a general dearth of really stupid bloggers, and his take was that—
“There are some stupid bloggers, but they're mostly kids who post nonsense or drivel, or in the case of some grownups, just banalities. As one blogger put it - the main ideology that drives the new crop is Anti-Idiotarianism.” Hmm. Anti-idiotarian, huh. I started doing a quick Google search and found that this term is about as old as the bottle of Diet Coke on my desk! The original blogger Lileks was referring to, as near as I can tell, was Glen Reynolds’ use of the term on InstaPundit on January 5, 2002. To quote: What bloggers are more than anything, I think, is anti-idiot. That makes life tough for Noam Chomsky, Cornel West, and the Revs. Falwell, Robertson, Jackson, & Sharpton, for reasons that transcend traditional partisanship and ideology. Reynolds comments were picked up by Little Green Footballs on the same date, where it was stated "if there were an Anti-Idiotarian Party™, I’d be a member for life." I like the way that sounds! As I told Lileks, I may not do much credit to the Party, but I've got to be first at something, so, I proclaim myself an Anti-Idiotarian, and this here blog will continue as before, with a new motto: So many idiots, so little time. Thursday, January 10, 2002
Keepin' and Bearin'
From The American Prospect, a short, but evenhanded commentary about the Constitution and guns, and which echoes some of the comments I made yesterday about the column written by Deb Reichmann.
Bummer, dude.
From the “This is your face; this is your face on drugs” file, some skanky Motown crackchick identified as “Yasmine Bleeth” manages to stand up long enough to be sentenced. Holy flurkin’ Schmidt! Admittedly, courtroom lighting is not the same as that found on the set of Baywatch, but this is just too much. Haggard, with steamer trunk-sized bags under her eyes and hound dog jowls, she looks much closer to 63 than 33. (Luckily, the rack appears to be holding up well.) Hey kids, listen to Mr. T.—Be cool, stay in school, don’t do drugs. Better yet, tape the photo up in your locker and ask “Is this what I want to look like?”
Enron—The Overlooked Angle
In which the author notes Enron's various in-country and offshore extralegal adventures which lead to a surprising nexus—BILL CLINTON! Yeah, I know, it’s just crazy talk! As if right-thinking people could even imagine that William Jefferson Clinton might have something that ties him to this debacle. This is all about evil big oil and evil big money and probably even has people evilly smoking big fat Cuban cigars. These things are the exclusive property of evil Republicans, and no Democrat would ever be involved with such! But, as my good buddy Ted Rall writes in his column of January 9 “Conspiracy theories are funny things: the wackier they sound, the more likely they are to be true,” so I don’t know, maybe this Clinton/Enron thing might be for real. Nahhhh, couldn’t be. Wednesday, January 09, 2002
The Civil Right Liberals Most Want Destroyed
In a wonderfully one-sided view of the world, Deb Riechmann decries the wholesale destruction of the Constitution by John Ashcroft, except for his annoying kowtowing to the evil gun lobby. You know, the Constitution should be inviolate, except when it comes to those scummy gun owners. From the article: --In response to an inquiry from the National Rifle Association, Ashcroft wrote that he believes the Constitution gives Americans the right to own firearms. That reversed the position of the Clinton administration, which argued that the Constitution provided such a right for groups, not individuals. Well, bad old John Ashcroft is wrong, wrong, WRONG! Unfortunately, not in a way that would please Ms. Reichmann. The Constitution gives no one rights. In the thinking of the fellows who wrote the Constitution, the rights of man were endowed upon him by his Creator. The Constitution is just a way of writing this stuff down so everyone can keep track of it. But Clinton, who was unsettled enough by having an armed military, and even more so by mere citizens being able to own guns, had no problem believing that the rights of man were bestowed by the state, and most assuredly viewed that silly old Second Amendment as just another vast right-wing conspiracy which needed to be neutralized. Ms. Reichmann is apparently of the same mindset, but one wonders if this thinking would extend to her view of the First Amendment. I wonder if she would concede that the First Amendment does not guarantee her an individual right to be a journalist, only the right of groups of journalists, controlled by the state, to exist. (Sort of like a journalistic militia.) Or maybe if she had to submit to a series of questionnaires or background checks before she could exercise her rights. Or if she had to be registered in order to produce her writing. Nah, probably not. Of course, the gist of the paragraph is not so much that the debate about the Constitution, but rather that Ashcroft had the audacity to OVERTURN a position espoused by the Clinton Administration! How dare he! For Shame! Of course, it was okay for Clinton to overturn policies of the Reagan/Bush and Bush/Quayle administrations, because they were “right-leaning.” For what it’s worth, the right to keep and bear arms is an individual right; otherwise, it would be useless as a method for states to provide for their necessary security. On to more evil Ashcroft maneuvering: --He sought to shorten, from 90 days to 24 hours, the length of time the government can keep information compiled during background checks for firearms purchases. That was a partial victory for gun owners who say the information amounts to a national registry. Sorry, folks, but the government was NEVER allowed to keep the NICS records for more than 24 hours. The Reno Justice Department made a decision to keep these records, in direct contravention of the NICS statute, with the blessing of the Clinton administration. Reno’s actions were illegal. Ashcroft’s proposal is for the Justice Department to comply with the law. And “gun owners who say” this was a national registry were simply stating the obvious—keeping the records of the NICS checks for any length of time makes the NICS a national registry. Again, one wonders if Ms. Reichmann would appreciate the government treating journalists in a similar fashion. Finally, --After Sept. 11, he prevented the FBI from using that gun information in terrorist investigations. Ashcroft says he was bound by laws and Congress should change them if it doesn't like them The Justice Department has been a "bull in a china shop when it comes to civil liberties, stretching their authority past the breaking point," contends Mathew Nosanchuk, director of the antigun Violence Policy Center. "But the Ashcroft Justice Department walks on eggshells when it comes to the special interests of the gun lobby." Once more, folks. The NICS data was never intended to be kept past 24 hours, it was never intended to be used to track people, and it was never intended to be passed on from agency to agency within the federal government. The fact that the Clinton administration allowed this violation of the law to continue does not mean that it was right, and whether Ms. Reichmann appreciates this or not, Congress made the law, and Ashcroft rightly places responsibility back on Congress if it doesn’t like the way the law reads. Mr. Nosanchuk is right, too, the Justice Department has been stretching its authority. However, there are a couple of points to consider— 1. We’re at war-- 2. The majority of Justice Department proposals to date are targeted at people who are in this country illegally-- 3. Congress can act to limit the Justice Department if they don’t like what it’s doing-- 4. Groups and individuals can sue the Justice Department if they believe they have been unjustly deprived of their rights-- 5. Special interests? In Washington? Why, I’m shocked! I am just so relieved that the people who desire to eliminate all private ownership of guns don’t have any special interests groups to represent them. If there was such a group, they might even get to the point of advocating that the Justice Department should ignore the rule of law and keep and share records which they were supposed to destroy. Gosh, that WOULD be bad! 6. One more for the “I wonder” pile. If Ashcroft kept the records, but only investigated men with Arabic-sounding names and cross-referenced those records with immigration records, would Ms. Reichmann or Mr. Nosanchuk object? Yeah, I know. Silly question.
The Fine Art of Crisis Writing
Yet another article detailing what is now becoming a cottage industry here in town, talking about the repair of the I-65S ramp on one hand, then the whole issue of transportation in this county on the other hand. Being good students of the Bible, we all try our best to not let our left hand know what the right hand is doing. Lots of words, tiny amounts of knowledge. And, since we can’t get ourselves our own terrorist attack, this story has apparently become the next best substitute, and is contributing to a boom in chest wader sales as the bloviation gets piled higher and higher. One example is found down in the middle of the story above: [ALDOT Director Paul] Bowlin said revamping the interchange in conjunction with the I-65 repairs "doesn't even make sense." Reworking the interchange would be "a long-range, multicomplicated, high-expensive fix," Bowlin said. "It's just not doable now. We certainly have short-term plans and long-term plans to re-do the interchange, but there is no way we will not restore traffic on I-65 until all problems of interchange are solved." Now, it may just be me, but when I hear anyone in state government start using large volumes of brain capacity to coin terms such as “multicomplicated,” and “high-expensive,” it makes me proud. Just imagine all of the good ol’ fellers with dirt hauling operations who know all about converting them there multicomplicated high-expensive road projects into a nice new Jag for the missus, and grad school at ‘Bama for 'Lil Bit. Monday, January 07, 2002
Hey, pull my finger
You know, I have been working on this myself for years. The unfortunate drawback has been an unavoidable level of collateral damage, including, but not limited to, holes in my underwear, tough skid marks, occasional liquid discharge, and taunts of “he who smelt it, dealt it!”
Tragic accident--but hey, let's look on the bright side
Obviously, the failure of the I-59S/20W ramp to I-65S due to this past weekend’s tanker truck explosion is a real, honest to goodness emergency. Obviously, the demolition and construction work needs to be expedited. But, beware whenever Don “Crooked as Dog’s Hind Leg” Siegelman starts talking “no bid.” In the face of this terrible accident, don’t be surprised if there aren’t a few of the Gov’s supporters who will make big bucks on the rebuilding process. ‘Cause it’s an emergency, don’t you know. Like buying computers. Give Mr. Siegelman credit, though, in that at least he realizes that cronyism looks bad. He has made great strides in the past two years insuring that any possible conflicts of interest or shady deals have been rigorously studied and every effort made to insure that they are not uncovered by those silly, simple-minded voters. Friday, January 04, 2002
In today’s world, it seems even a nice plate of chicken curry can’t make people like each other.
It is so sad to see that neighbors cannot be friendly over a nice hot dish supper—just exactly what is this world coming to? Next thing you know, they will be phoning each other in the middle of the night and hanging up, or putting dog poo in a flaming sack on the front door step. I don’t quite know what the reporter, Myra MacDonald, was thinking. What ANYBODY was thinking who was covering this story and expecting a sudden deflation of tension in the Subcontinent. Did any of the reporters really think that this shindig was going to result in anything other than a bad case of flatulence? From the story, you get the sense that they were covering this as if it were intended to be an intervention, with all the other South Asian potentates plotting to lock the Pakistani and Indian delegates in a room and tell them that they were loved, but that they needed help—you know, before they did something bad. The Pakistanis and Indians would be belligerent, then teary-eyed, then acquiesce to entering a local (but well thought of) 12-step anger management program. No one wants a further escalation in this situation, but to sit there and write about this dinner as a missed opportunity for peace is a bit silly, and does no justice to the real problem. Which is, of course, funny-looking national costumes. Remember, no country with a GAP store has ever declared war against another country with a GAP store.
I'm still trying to work around the posting problems of the Great Blogger Crash (GBC from here on out) so that you can continue to read and enjoy the goodness of possum. (As if anyone else reads this stuff!)
There is Nothin' Like a Dame! A little more than halfway down the page is an interesting short recollection of life as a Red Cross volunteer in New Guinea during World War II, written by Pattie Smith Crocker, a native of Birmingham. The story summary relates that she “had a successful career in the fashion industry. She has been a buyer for Loveman's in Birmingham and Pirie Scott in Chicago. She was ready-to-wear manager of Parisian's Eastwood store for l3 years. She is retired and leads an active volunteer life.” Her recollections are wonderful, even if she refers to “bug juice” a few too many times. What is most telling about her generation, and I guess about ours, is her total lack of snotty self-loathing, sophistry, and false irony. Her matter-of-factness about life under fire is wonderfully refreshing. No wondering why the Japanese hated us, no caustic criticism of men in uniform whose job it was to kill the Japanese, no sense of defeat, no moral uncertainty about the release of atomic bombs. And a frankly nonfeminist reference to decking herself out in a “light blue, very clinging uniform dress” as she worked as the announcer for shipboard boxing matches. In fact she seemed to enjoy the reaction such garb elicited from the men on board! How very shocking! She didn’t even see fit to complain about her gratuituous sexual objectification and the misogyny of those evil killing men! Well, like they say in South Pacific there really is nothing like a dame. Young “womyn” of America, if you want someone to study in your college’s Women’s Study program, start with Pattie Crocker and all those WACs and WAVEs she served with. They are ten times the feminists any of your professors will ever be, and look good in a dress to boot. (By the way, Mrs. Crocker, if you ever read this, I sure would appreciate a photo of you in that dress!)
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