Odd, In a Peculiar Kind of Way

I had to go to the courthouse today to pay my sewer bill, which I decided to do after lunch. Unfortunately, I had forgotten that the new security procedures at the courthouse do not allow citizens to enter if they have weapons of any kind.

I always carry two pocket knives—one little tiny keychain thumb opener, and an ancient three bladed Uncle Henry. Their value as weapons is dubious, and they are usually employed as fingernail cleaners and paper trimmers. But they are knives, and even though I was able to carry my very-easy-to-conceal-long-stabby-things-inside-of umbrella through the X-ray machine, knives are a definite no-no. The bad part is that the sheriff’s deputies at the door will not hold stuff for you. This is posted several times with various Xeroxed warnings. Which means that if you show up at the courthouse, forgetting the rule and having on you the pocketknives you carry without a second thought, you must schlep back to your office or car or make someone wait outside for you.

I work just across the park, but I really didn’t want to make two trips back and forth just to pay my sewer bill. As I stood there in front of the weird statue of Thomas Jefferson (the head is ridiculously large—almost as if one of our Founding Fathers was host of Wheel of Fortune) an idea came to me. I turned around and walked back down the sidewalk to the Linn-Henley library, which is the old, original Birmingham library with all the cool murals.

I walked in and with as much humble library patron persona I could muster asked the desk librarian if she would do me a favor. “Excuse me, but I have to go next door and pay my sewer bill. I’ve got two pocketknives, and you know they won’t hold them for me while I run upstairs. Would it be okay if I--" “You want to leave them here on the desk? Just put them under this thing.” I thanked her a lot, left my tools, went and did my sewerly duty, and then returned, collected my sharp things, and thanked her one more time for her kindness.

It just seems odd to me that the librarian was so nonplussed by my fearsome armaments, yet the very same thing could have created a big stink just down the block.
posted by Terry at 4:58:00 PM