Thanks to Miss Janis, who sends me (via The Obscure Store) this ripping tale of modern-day brigandry:

Growling man with sword robs store; suspect arrested

By PATRICK COURREGES
pcourreges@theadvocate.com
Acadiana bureau

NEW IBERIA -- Police arrested an Abbeville man Saturday who is suspected of having walked into a convenience store growling with a sword clenched between his teeth to rob the place of a can of tobacco and a bottle of whiskey.

Good to see that some people have their priorities right in life, eh?

Brandon Doucet, 28, 306 N. St. Charles St., Abbeville, was arrested by Broussard police and charged with armed robbery, hit and run, two counts of reckless operation, aggravated flight from an officer and no driver's license.

Iberia Parish Sheriff Sid Hebert said his deputies responded Saturday to a report that a man had come into the Food N Fun convenience store at Duperior Avenue and Maire Street about 7:50 p.m. with a white sword between his teeth, and growling at the clerk behind the counter.

Well, the name of the place IS Food N FUN--what do they expect!?

That man, believed to be Doucet, walked behind the counter, grabbed a can of tobacco and a bottle of whiskey -- while continuing to growl -- and left without a word.

"He was like a pirate. If he had been wearing a patch and a hat on his head and a parrot, she (the clerk) would have thought he was a pirate," Hebert said.

What about if he didn't have a parrot or an eye patch or a hat, but maybe had a peg leg? A hook hand? What about in lieu of a hat if he had a bandana tied around his head? What about if he had a monkey instead of a parrot? What about if instead of growling he said "avast."

It is a mystery, I suppose.

"There was some extremely abnormal behavior."

And thus, Iberia Parish Sheriff Sid Hebert becomes the winner of this week's, "Oh, You Think So, Sparky!?" Award, handed out regularly to those with a very firm grasp of the obvious.

Shortly after the convenience-store incident, sheriff's deputies spotted a car believed to be that of the convenience-store robber and gave chase, he said.

I wonder if the defense strategy is that it couldn't be the right guy, because what self-respecting pirate drives a car?

At one point, the vehicle ran another car off the road, and may have sideswiped yet another vehicle while still in New Iberia before deputies gave chase, Hebert said.

The chase led deputies toward Lafayette Parish, and the Iberia Sheriff's Office called ahead to the Broussard police to notify officers that a fugitive was heading their way, Hebert said.

When the car entered the Broussard area, the driver cut the lights before speeding out of sight of the deputies, Hebert said.

Why, that crafty buccaneer!

Once in Broussard, Doucet turned his car down a dirt driveway, only to find a dirt mound at the end of it, which police say he proceeded to hit, ending the chase.

Or not.

Doucet is being held in the Iberia Parish jail on a $250,000 bond.

I'm sure no one makes fun of him in there.
posted by Terry at 11:41:00 AM