LUNCH!

Or, "How Sugarmama, Skillzy, and Yours Truly plan to take over the world."

1) A diabolical genetic experiment has now been launched combining a monkey, a squirrel, and a pigeon with a robot. BOW BEFORE OUR POWER! BWUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!

2) Umm. I don't know. Probably something like, a poster or something.

3) Oh, yeah--send us all your money.

There now. It is pointless to resist.

AS FOR THE REST OF OUR TIME TOGETHER--it was very fun, although before the other TWO (of our host of millions who were invited) arrived, I felt rather odd sitting by myself at a table for six. (I made Chet the E-Mail Boy sit outside on the bench by the guy with all the luggage and blankets and boxes and pieces of foam.)

Sugarmama (not her real name, by the way) was first to arrive, as usual looking taller than I think she should, and she mentioned that Skillzy (not his real name, by the way--at least, I don't think so) was going to be a bit late due to traffic on I-65. Skillzy drove all the way from HOOVER for this get-together--must be all that time underwater when he was in the Navy or something.

Anyway, Sugar ordered herself some food while I was impolite and started chowing down without her (sorry to be so crude) and in only a minute or two, the ruggedly handsome bearded Skillzy showed up and went and placed his order as well.

The meal was spent much as Sugarmama describes in her post, although she did leave out the part about seeing Willie Nelson in the restaurant, and about her towering rage regarding her sweet little sister who called in the middle of our plotting of world domination to ask the directions to Kohl's.

There was a side discussion about salsa, in which I was forced to admit buying cheap gelatinous Pace by the five-gallon bucket and that I am an unsophisticated salsa dweeb, and so they made fun of me. And so, you know, after I got all their information about hydraulics and computer networks, I now plan to turn the RoboMonkePigeorrel on them. Hah! I guess I shouldn't say anything about that until afterwards, though.

Later topics included work, the singles scene (thank the Good Lord I'm not single), nasal congestion, yardwork, car repair, home repair, electricity, chain saws, Indian food, Thai food, spicy food, food, Quiznos, Subway, male expectations of reward versus reality, and lesion-patterned panty hose. I refused repeated requests to see what I was wearing under my navy blue Haggar pants legs.

Roly Poly was jumping today, for some reason. I figured with it being Spring Break there wouldn't be that many people there, but it was pretty packed. They HAVE gone up on their prices, which is a bit of a let down.

AND THEN--time to leave. I had to get across town to give Reba her care package--an oriental chicken wrap, chips and Diet Coke--and get back to work. We bused our table and went out the door, arm-in-arm like Dorothy and the Tin Woodsman and The Cowardly Lion and I made Chet act like a scarecrow. We bid Skillzy goodbye on 4th Avenue, then I bid Sugarmama goodbye at 6th, giving her something to sell on E-Bay in the form of my autograph, AND tricking her into giving me a hug! HAH! She's so gullible.

Then on to the parking deck and on to Miss Reba's workplace, where I delivered her vittles AND tricked her into giving me a KISS! HAH! She's so gullible.

And now, I am back here.

And the stupid squirrel is loose.

Be back when I get it caged again.
posted by Terry at 2:01:00 PM