The Public Cries Out for Answers!

Dredged through the referrer logs this morning to see what all brings folks to the door of Possumblog, and was assaulted first thing with someone shouting, HOW TO MAKE A CONGRATULATORY TOAST FOR SOMEONE RECEIVING A PHD?

Obviously, something like this does deserve due consideration, and because it is such an important occasion, much planning usually goes into it. I would suggest a nice slice of sourdough, and using some of the rich and flavorful Squeeze Parkay margarine, carefully write "Congrats" on the surface of the bread. Place on baking sheet and toast lightly in an oven set to Broil. Do not leave any longer than required for the toast to brown around the writing. (You may also place in a toaster over, but do not use a stand up toaster.)

Remove toast from oven after completion of the toast, and allow to cool. Wrap completed toast in paper towel and present to the person with your warmest regards.

I remember when I got my PHD. I had an old pair with wood handles, and they finally got to the point of uselessness. Found a really nice pair at Lowe's with fiberglass handles. Nice and light, yet strong. I know your friend will enjoy using his PHD, and might even be willing to let you borrow it to dig your own post holes!

Next up, someone looking for a "hernia haiku". Believe it or not, your old friend Possumblog was the ONLY returned result!

Now, I never actually wrote anything, just referred to a weak attempt at hernia haiku when I met Reba at the doctor's office when she was diagnosed with her hiatal hernia. And that was a long time ago. Which means if you actually want something, I'll have to make up something new.

Goodbye chocolate-
And, Hi! atal hernia
More Prilosec, please

No one said it had to be good.

Then there is this plucky, resourceful soul who came here wondering if we had some information on fixing bowl on methamphetamine pipe. Man, they sure don't make 'em like they used to. But you know, you have to really admire the desire of some folks to conserve and recycle. Most people would just go waste money and buy another pipe, but not our plucky Mr. Fix-it.

Well, then, in order to help out, the best thing to do is march right down to the police station and demand they fix it for you. It's like, some kind of law or something, that they have to fix it or replace it for free. No, really! I read it somewhere!

Anyway, thanks to all for stopping by, and glad to be of help to you all.
posted by Terry at 8:05:00 AM