Why I Hate Tim Blair

Well, not hate so much as violently envy--you see, Tim, being a pro-jo, gets to do fun things like writing about sucking up precious dinosaur juice all around Down Under in cool stuff like Holden Calaisseses. Now even though I have found the magic textbook on how to be a journalist, I still can't seem to get any carmakers to drop off the keys to any hardware for me to play with. That's not really Tim's fault, I suppose, but he's convenient.

ANYway, some of you might have some trouble with the technical jargon in Cobber Tim's work, especially the power rating for the Calais which is listed as 235kW. kW is an abbreviation for "kilowatt", an odd metric/Imperial hybrid thing which was designed by some Commie guy to confuse decent people who use real measures like horsepower.

It might help to explain it a bit--the kilowatt is named after James Watt, who invented the steam engine and served as Secretary of the Interior under President Ronald Reagan. It is a measure of the work equivalent of 1,000 James Watts lifting one pound of weight one foot in temperature in one second using one finger. It is similar to the BTU, which stands for British Thermal Underwear. It is also similar to the joule, which is French or something, so obviously a sure sign of trouble, and to the erg, which is the sound you make when you move something heavy.

When you convert the Bizarro World 235kW to its equivalent Real World measurement (based on the kind and gentle horse), you find that it has a quite respectable number of 315 horsepower, enough to spin Margo Kingston to nearly 10,000 rpm.

So, carry on, Tim and I'll study my textbook some more.
posted by Terry at 3:41:00 PM