JAMES RANDI OFFERS STUNNING PREDICTION OF AUBURN TIGER VICTORY!

As promised, as part of my Very Special Possumblog Iron Bowl Episode, I have gone forth into the glamorous, fast-paced arena of World Renowned Celebrities to search out a suitable Celebrity Guest Star to offer up a prediction of the upcoming battle between the Tigers and Tide. I brought Chet the E-Mail Boy in yesterday and had him compose a missive to one of the foremost authorities on prognostigatory phenomenon. Barely able to contain his awe, Chet tapped out the following on his telegraph key:

Date: Thu, 20 Nov 2003 06:48:16 -0800 (PST)
From: "Terry Oglesby"
Subject: Request for a "prediction" (Apologies in advance)
To: randi@randi.org

Dear Mr. Randi,

Let me start by apologizing for intruding—this request has absolutely NOTHING to do with much of anything, so if you are unwilling to answer, I understand completely.

My name is Terry Oglesby. I live just outside of Birmingham, Alabama and as a hobby write a daily weblog of the mundane, boring, excruciatingly banal details of my everyday life, called Possumblog http://possumblog.blogspot.com (Don't ask about the name.) It's read by countless milli--, thousa--, hund--, at least five or six people every day.

Anyway, part of the silly crap I do is a weekly prediction for the outcome of my alma mater Auburn University's football game, and on occasion I will contact some well-known person and ask that he or she offer a prediction.

Wacky and zany, eh? Well, maybe not.

Anyway, this week's game is very special, it being the traditional face-off between Auburn and our cross-state rivals, the University of Alabama, so I was wondering if you would be willing to play along and be my special celebrity guest and offer your own idea as to the outcome of the game.

Again, both my sincere thanks and apologies.

Yours,
Terry Oglesby

Chet just now came in the door, trembling with a look of mortal dread in his eye, and handed me the following:

From: "James Randi"
To: "'Terry Oglesby'"
Subject: RE: Request for a "prediction" (Apologies in advance)
Date: Fri, 21 Nov 2003 10:12:32 -0500

Terry: I see a player with a red stripe crossing a line.....

James Randi

ASTOUNDING!! “Chet!” I cried, “Don’t you see!? The Amazing Mr. Randi has just announced to the whole world that the Boys From Lee County will utterly vanquish those horrid Elephants on the morrow!”

He didn’t quite see it, so I explained it thusly: First, the player with a red stripe is a self-evident reference to an Alabama player. Second, “crossing a line” can only refer to the only way in which Alabama students can count—by crudely scratching tally marks on a piece of paper. There can be NO DOUBT that “crossing a line” denotes the act of making the fifth, crossing mark over a line of four marks. Five marks, FIVE TOUCHDOWNS scored by Auburn!! See!? It’s so plain, so easily understood! James Randi says Auburn will score five touchdowns and that’s good enough for me.

Now then, if THAT’S not enough evidence for you, I was informed yesterday by the winsome and vivacious Nikki Preede of FOX6 that Booger, her Pomeranian/border collie from Switzerland, mentioned a number in excess of thirty. Again, nothing but confirmation of what we already know!

So, sports fans, there you go!



(Many thanks to James Randi for participating in this silliness. I doubt there are many nationally-known folks who would be willing to do something like this for someone sane, much less someone rather less so.)
posted by Terry at 11:26:00 AM