You know, that hurt

I usually am a big strong boy, but today's bleeding at the hand of the barber was a bit much to take. And it took forever, too.

Filled out the normal set of a billion questions, then sat down to be poked upon by the same lady who was nice to me yesterday. She was still nice, but her first attempt, using a needle the diameter of sewer pipe, swung wide of my vein and just sort of gouged around in my muscle.

Ouchie. Do not squeal. Do not squeal. Do not squeal.

"I'm so sorry, sugar, I missed it--it was deeper than I thought. Are you okay?"

Mmhm.

"And that's the first one I missed all day--but I guess that doesn't matter if it's YOUR arm!"

"OH, it's okay. Not bad."

Bad. Not okay. But what could I say--she was just too nice. She pulled the pipe out and jabbed me again, this time striking a gusher. Or so I thought. After what seemed like FOREVER, one of the other ladies came around and noted that the bag didn't seem to be filling up very fast. So she jiggered the conduit some more, which only hurt like having a large diameter metal rod moved around in your sensitive spots can hurt.

Do not shriek. Do not shriek. Do not shriek.

I finally willed enough fluid out of my body to finish filling my receptacle, so I was dutifully unplugged and bandaged and sent on my way.

Thank goodness they had Fig Newtons Tom's Fig Bars. I took two, doggone it.
posted by Terry at 4:02:00 PM