Not in the clamor of the crowded street, not in the shouts and plaudits of the throng, but in ourselves, are triumph and defeat.--Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

REDIRECT ALERT! (Scroll down past this mess if you're trying to read an archived post. Thanks. No, really, thanks.)

Due to my inability to control my temper and complacently accept continued silliness with not-quite-as-reliable-as-it-ought-to-be Blogger/Blogspot, your beloved Possumblog will now waddle across the Information Dirt Road and park its prehensile tail at http://possumblog.mu.nu.

This site will remain in place as a backup in case Munuvia gets hit by a bus or something, but I don't think they have as much trouble with this as some places do. ::cough::blogspot::cough:: So click here and adjust your links. I apologize for the inconvenience, but it's one of those things.

Thursday, September 25, 2003

Well, my friend, you’ve come to the right place.

Earlier today there was a visitor who stopped by after searching far and wide for how to do a book report for an eight grader.

You know, hardly a day goes by when we here at Possumblog are not called upon to help out youngsters and their parents in their joint quest to circumvent the idea that homework is to be done by the student.

At least our querist is on the right track, and has successfully discovered the first step toward writing a convincing book report--disguising the grammar and spelling.

Oft times, parents will write the book report for their “eight [sic] grader”, oblivious to the usual poor quality of such works, and fill it with big words and fanciful ideas. Unless a concerted effort is made to conceal these, most teachers are able to pick out work done by parents because there are usually at least 7-14% fewer misspelled words, and the grammar usually sounds more “grown-uppy”.

So, be sure to throw in lots of phrases such as, “he done” and, “whitch is relly stuped” and, “duh”.

Second, the actual book itself is unimportant. Those yellow and black books in the bookstore are just fine; you don’t have to read nearly as much and they are usually cheaper than the real book.

Third, be sure to use very large font sizes (14 point is minimum, 26 is preferred), double spacing, 2” margins, a cover sheet, and a back sheet.

Fourth, the best thing you can do is get a really cool cover. This always impresses teachers.

There now, hope that helps! Let us know how it turns out for you!

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