Jeff Adams.

Lagos-Nigeria
DEAR SIR/MADAM
I am Jeff Adams.
Chairman of the Tender Committee of the Nigerian National Petroleum Corporation (NNPC). My Committee is principally concerned with payment of all contract awarded from 1998 to date, in order of priority as regard capital projects of the NNPC. The information we gathered from the Foreign Office of the Nigeria Chambers of Commerce and Industries is so positive as to convince us that you would provide us with solution to a money transfer deal valued at Thirty One Million United States Dollars and subsequently a joint business venture.

[yadda-yadda "liquefied Natural Gas (LNG) project", "over-invoiced", "we have worked out all modalities", "please contact me...with the following...Account Number", "Please be informed that this subject is classified sensitive"]

Yours Faithfully,
Jeff Adams.

Jeff? THE Jeff Adams I went to high school with!? The last I heard, you and Nelda had gotten married and were living in Gulfport, Mississippi!! How in the world did you wind up over there in Nigeria? Are y'all still together?

You know, me and Tim Brand was looking at the yearbook a couple of weeks ago, and it's funny (especially considering where you are now) but you got voted Most Likely to be Incarcerated! But now it looks like you've gone legit, man! How did you ever swing such a sweet gig? The closest you ever got to petroleum was that jar of Vaseline you kept in your underwear drawer!

I was sorry to hear about your mom, by the way. I know you always said she was a real beeatch, but you know, when it's your mom like that, well, it's gotta be hard to deal with.

I hope Nelda is doing good--tell her I said hey if y'all are still hooked up. I hope all that stuff between me and her hasn't put a strain on you. It's like we said back then, that was band camp, and you know how band camp is.

Well, I guess I should let you get back to work, good luck on that deal and all.