So…

The morning’s meeting today was unusually raucous, which is okay I suppose, although it does make it hard to take notes. We managed to make everyone all ill and cross and meanly-disposed, so I suppose it is no small irony that I will be going up to the Red Cross at lunch to give blood. Mmm. Fig newtons.

Anywho, last night’s festivities pretty much matched up with predictions—got across town to the Flying J truck stop over on Daniel Payne for a sip of sweet, sweet distilled petroleum.

You know, truck stops are very interesting places.

Then it was on to pick up Oldest, who promptly fell asleep the moment we cleared the driveway. Back across the county to the soccer park, swapped Oldest for Middle, participated in a public display of affection with Miss Reba through the open driver’s window of her vehicle, which brought squeals of protestation from the back seats, then waved them all good bye. Went and checked on Rebecca, who was out on the field warming up, told her I was going to go get a snack and would be back shortly.

Of course, I had to visit the strangely compelling Country Convenience store (the log cabin-looking one with the gas station and restaurant and pool supply and convenience stores). Decided I needed a bit more oomph than pistachios, so I got myself a can of Armour Smoked Vienna Sausages and a bag of chips.

Now, I know some of you may be horrified by my seemingly pedestrian choice of comestibles, but darn it all, Vienna sausages have a proud and noble heritage. First produced in Salzburg, not Vienna, they were manufactured as filling and nutritious snacks for soldiers in the Austro-Hungarian army. Their size is meant to replicate the case diameter of the common 11mm Werndl cartridge so that they could easily be carried on the march in bandoliers or clips. Later they were packaged in cans similar in size to stick grenades, again to better conform to military equipment requirements. After the fall of the Empire, soldiers continued to crave the rich, meaty goodness common to mechanically separated chicken, beef by-products, pork remainders, and nitrites, and an industry was born. Not really. It’s just ground up animals and flavoring. But yummy nonetheless.

Got my vittles and went back to the park and sat in the van a bit, then walked on down to the field. Again, with all the rain threatening, there were only a few of her team there, but they practiced anyway. And then, terrible pain and woe when her coach accidentally came down on her toes with his cleats. Much tears and barely restrained sobbing—I hugged her (and let me tell you, little girls can get very dirty and sweaty and generally nasty) and we sat on the bench for a while to make the pain go away. Which it didn’t.

Her team started a scrimmage with another group, and even when it seemed that it should be long past time for her toes to begin feeling normal again, she was still sniffling. So, being a good father, I did what I could to ease her misery. As you all know, loud public flatulence is an incredible balm to take away the hurt and pain of minor physical ailments among children, so I played her a gentle tune. Her stuck-out lip quivered and then quickly drew in, and a giggle leapt out.

“Daaa-uuuh-deeeeeee...”

“What?”

“You’re SUPPOSED to say ‘excuse me’.”

“FER WHAT!?”

“Youuuu know…”

“That wasn’t me, that was you!”

More giggles and denials, but still not ambulatory, so I continued with a lovely sonata in G minor, and after a while she was recovered. There is still the issue of the burnt shrubbery over behind the fence that I still have to take care of, but at least she’s walking again.

Home finally, nice bowl of soup, kids to bed, and then more resume tweaking for Reba. She went on TWO interviews yesterday morning, so hopefully she’ll find a better situation soon.

AND NOW? Well, it’s time to head up the hill to the Red Cross and unload some nitrites. See you in a bit.
posted by Terry at 11:43:00 AM