[...] Expect bad news for the foreseeable future. It's sexier than success. Eventually every network will do the Six Months Later story, and you know how that will go:

First, "The Best of Shock and Awe" highlight reel while the narrator describes how the Iraqis folded like a three-legged card table. Then the postwar quagmire, as the Americans failed to convince a kneecapped nation to leap to its feet and do the Charleston in 100 days. Then some Bright Spots, followed by a stand-up report from whichever anchorperson parachuted in for the closing visuals. "Tonight, Baghdad is calm, but many people look to the future, and wonder whether this is liberation -- or occupation." Mournful music, slow-mo shots of an Iraqi child's blank face, a scowling soldier, a toppled statue of Saddam.

If you're not depressed by the end, Dan Rather will personally come to your house and force-feed you Valium and alcohol. [...]