You know...

I AM on hiatus and all until about July 7, but I just HAD to tell you that I had a wonderful lunch of kung pao chicken and hot and sour soup. And tonight? I'm probably going to eat some more chickenses, or maybe part of a cow. I like meat, you know.

Hmm?

Why am I coming out of my self-imposed exile to talk about my consumption of the cooked flesh of other sentient beings?

Because it just so happens that my good friends with PeTA have staged a massive demonstration in the park right below my window. Two big displays of their obnoxiously insipid 'Eating Meat Makes You Hitler' blither, and four whole people standing about, handing out flyers to the trickling stream of disinterested noonday park walkers.

O the humanity! How many innocent trees had to give their lives in order for these vacant-eyed poltroons to have the paper required to fill up countless trashbaskets! PAPER IS MURDER!

There's a couple of reporters down there now. A scooter cop is also talking to them, probably because they set up their two large, square, display frameworks right there on public property in the way of decent people who are not being allowed to fully enjoy their right to travel unimpeded by the Temperance Society.

Of course, the display frames are made of metal--metal extracted from ore...ORE GOUGED FROM THE BOWELS OF DEAR MOTHER EARTH! Rapists! How dare they use metal poles!! They also have big plastic banners hung from them--plastic, made from OIIIIIILLLLL, SUCKED FROM THE HEAVING TEATS OF MOTHER EARTH by various brigands from Haliburton and Exxon! THEY ARE OPPRESSORS!! Helping to fuel our country's vicious thirst for imported oil stolen from poor, ignorant peoples, right there with old Dick Cheney and George Bush! Shocking!

'Nother cop car just showed up, along with a couple of scooters and a couple of the security guys that ride around downtown on their bikes. Sorta late--the Vile Oppressors were set up over thirty minutes ago. I guess it takes a while for the word to get around.

I also notice that the Earnest, Yet Congenitally Stupid contingent now seem to be getting a citiation from the bike cop. Much to the surprise of no one. Which is exactly how many folks, other than the Petards and the media and the cops, are standing around. Wait, there is one big guy out there who appears to be trying to engage in some sort of discourse.

Poor big guy.

I'll tell him like I tell my kids, "Don't talk to crazy people. Ever."

The other scooter cop is back, along with the other cruiser, and a gray municipal car, containing, I assume, some minor functionary sent to tell them to get their crap outta the public right-of-way. Cops standing around being interviewed by someone from the local NBC station. Newspaper Guy sitting down on the steps. It's hot.

Hour later now from when the cops first showed up. Whole area still packed with no one. You know, it would be cool if Nikki Preede showed up! I'd buy a bag of pork rinds and run out there and share 'em with her on live TV if she was downstairs! Oh well. Maybe another time.

One cruiser gone, both scooters have scooted. Just one lone peace officer holding back the tide of anger. Newspaper Guy stood up and walked around some more. He's already talked to all four of the Prohibitionists, which I'm sure was the highlight of his journalistic career.

HOOCHIMAMA!! A really hot chick just walked over from the Courthouse--petite, blonde hair, yellow tee shirt, jeans--YOW! Thus proving that this entire movement is populated by cybernetic mutants, the guy talking to her was unable to parlay the images of sad-eyed moo-cows into an exchange of vital information.

Figures.

Although part of it could be that he's a doof in baggy khakis and Keds.

I will say this for them--they do a great job of displacing the panhandlers and bums. There's not a single one in sight. Ooooh, wait. There is one creepy-looking old bald-headed dude in a blue-jean jacket with a backpack. Ahh, nope. I think he's just an old hippy who, along with Roger Daltrey, did not fulfill his desire to die before he got old, and now has to live with the constant mistrust of others of his generation who are now well past thirty. He's sitting down now, too. Ewww--he crosses his legs like a girl.

All the cops have gone now. I guess they just decided to give them a ticket and leave. Oh well.

I think I'll go back to work now and resume my hiatus.

Hmm...maybe a nice big Sonic burger tonight.
posted by Terry at 1:05:00 PM