I’m still on hiatus. Really.

BUT, when news of earth-shattering scale comes across the wires, ACTION MUST BE TAKEN!

THUS it is that while I was busily toiling away here in the salt mine (which is what we call a nice, air-conditioned office space where you have your own office and door and window) that I took a mere moment’s respite to refresh myself by seeing if anyone is still reading this crap since I said I was going on hiatus. Which I am still on, by the way.

Lo! (and, of course, what would Lo be without Behold) I noted in the referrer logs an unfamiliar visitor traipsing through the yard over by the gravel pile. I quickly hid to see who this might be, and after a bit of investigation found that is was not a revenuer or someone selling Kirby vacuum cleaners, but rather a fellow Alabama blogger who had been so kind as to include Possumblog upon her list of links.

As I am always on the lookout for new suckers erudite and sophisticated members for the Yellowhammer League of Authors, Poets, and Machine Operators, I summoned Chet the E-Mail Boy from his chambers in the basement and had him take down a quick note to this young lady, who has the very odd name of “Terry”. With his mottled and withered finger upon the telegraph key, Chet quickly tapped out a message of greeting, which was quickly responded to, which was in turn given a reply, which again prompted a response, that brought with it a response which absolutely demanded a response, which led to the need for some Absorbine Veterinary Liniment for Chet’s index finger. Properly soothed and anointed, Chet was able to finish his transmission of the Rules for Inclusion in the Mighty and Powerful Axis of Weevil. I must confess that in my desire to add yet more members, I told Miss Terry that we have a no-hazing policy. Oh well, what she don’t know, eh?

Anyway, she took the list and began the arduous process of filling out the application and sent the following:

Okay -- no problems with requirements 1 through 8 and 10. I was three years old when my family moved here in 1959. There is no better place to live on earth (well, maybe in a mansion in Hawaii).

Now THAT, my friends, is someone who LOVES Alabama! And Hawaii! And mansions! Anyway…

As for #11, my husband could do that. He's the trivia king around here.

Hmm. We’ve never had anyone want to cheat before…that takes some real “want to”! The Rules Committee states they are indeed impressed with this bit of inventiveness. But you still only get one Gift Pack. Onwards—

I don't own a pickup, but I have a car with over 150,000 miles.

As with all of our pickup-truck-challenged members, we make the same suggestions as in the past—get yourself a good Sawzall from the tool rental place and start whittling away everything from your car that doesn’t look like a pickup truck. After only a few short hours, you can make a dandy El Camino/Ranchero-esque vehicle that will look right at home at the country club or parked outside the county jail.

It doesn't belch gas too much.

Are we talking about the hubby again or something else?

I want a pickup. My husband has to borrow one to get the horse manure from a location near the arsenal into our garden every winter. We are getting tired of borrowing.

Well, if you got your own horse, you wouldn’t have to borrow a truck OR manure, but I guess that’s one of those personal choice sorts of things. (And who knew we still have horses in our arsenal!?)

I am learning about #9 right now, Googling as I type.

... glad to hear about the no-hazing policy. It is hazy enough around
Huntsville as it is.

Oooo. I sorta thought she might forget about the hazing thing. Oh well—she’ll figure it out after a while.

ANYWAY, and all that, by the great power vested in me by a small card I carry in my wallet, it is with great pride that I take leave of my hiatusness to bestow and endow Terry Matson of BamaBlog with all of the rights and benefits of membership within the Cotton State Cat Fanciers and Pistol Club, otherwise know throughout the universe as the Axis of Weevil.

As with all new members, Miss Terry will shortly be receiving the World Famous Axis of Weevil Gift Pack, containing a slab of Dreamland ribs, a gallon jug of Milo's sweet tea; a G-Lox Wedgee gun rack from Mark's Outdoor Sports for her fancy new pickup-that-was-a-car, a package of Bubba's Beef Jerky (according to Dr. Weevil, this is homemade and is available only at the gas station at the end of Highway 82 in Bibb County); a three piece, 24 ounce box of Priester's Pecan Logs; a box of Jim Dandy grits; a 16 ounce bottle of Dale's Steak Sauce; AND a six pack of Buffalo Rock Ginger Ale. As an added bonus, you will receive a package of twelve greeting cards designed by our very own Jimmy from next door, whose “condition” has abated sufficiently to allow him to expand his rock-painting business to include handcrafted stationery. He asks only that you ignore the letterhead on the reverse side, as the paper was given to him by the insurance company when they changed names.

SO THEN, all of you run over to BamaBlog and say hello!

I would do it, but I’m on hiatus from blogging until after July 4.

Really.
posted by Terry at 12:35:00 PM