I have this thing I do occasionally (alright now, stop that train of thought RIGHT now!) when things get slow--I'll type in the day's date into Google, along with a year significant in American history, such as the years of 1776-82, 1861-65, 1917-18, 1941-45, you get the picture--and see what sort of letters and other correspondence might be out there. It's usually pretty interesting, and it's a good way to get some historical perspective.

I did the same for today, using "May 21, 1864" as the search string, and found a website devoted to the career of Sam Clemens at the Virginia City (Nevada) Territorial Enterprise (during the time in which he became Mark Twain). On the date in question, Mr. Clemens became embroiled in a feisty exchange with James Laird, Esq., proprietor of the rival Virginia Union, which had published a snide response to a Clemens' editorial which Clemens wished to have retracted, or else that he be satisfied as a gentleman. That's right, he was calling Mr. Laird out.

After and exchange of seven letters (the carrying back-and-forth of which probably exhausted his equivalent of Possumblog's Chet, the E-Mail Boy) and the refusal of the publisher to either fight or retract, Mr. Clemens had the following last words:

I denounce Mr. Laird as an unmitigated liar, because he says I published an editorial in which I attacked the printers employed on the Union, whereas there is nothing in that editorial which can be so construed. Moreover, he is a liar on general principles, and from natural instinct. I denounce him as an abject coward, because it has been stated in his paper that its proprietors are responsible for all articles appearing in its columns, yet he backs down from that position; because he acknowledges the "code," but will not live up to it; because he says himself that he is responsible for all "editorials," and then backs down from that also; and because he insults me in his note marked "IV," and yet refuses to fight me. Finally, he is a fool, because he cannot understand that a publisher is bound to stand responsible for any and all articles printed by him, whether he wants to do it or not.

SAM. L. CLEMENS

Take that, "Paper of Record"--nary a moose in sight.

In any event, there are a stack of transcriptions of Clemens work at the Enterprise, including this beaut about a local theater production:

REVIEW OF "INGOMAR THE BARBARIAN"

ACT. 1. - Mrs. Claughley appears in the costume of a healthy Greek matron (from Limerick). She urges Parthenia, her daughter, to marry Polydor, and save her father from being sold out by the sheriff - the old man being in debt for assessments.

Scene 2. - Polydor - who is a wealthy, spindle-shanked, stingy old stockbroker - prefers his suit and is refused by the Greek maiden - by the accomplished Greek maiden, we may say, since she speaks English with out any perceptible foreign accent.

Scene 3. - The Comanches capture Parthenia's father, old Myron (who is the chief and only blacksmith in his native village) they tear him from his humble cot, and carry him away, to Reese River. They hold him as a slave. It will cost thirty ounces of silver to get him out of soak.

Scene 4. - Dusty times in the Myron family. Their house is mortgaged - they are without dividends - they cannot "stand the raise."

Parthenia, in this extremity, applies to Polydor. He sneeringly advises her to shove out after her exiled parent herself.

She shoves!

ACT II. - Camp of the Comanches. In the foreground, several of the tribe throwing dice for tickets in Wright's Gift Entertainment. In the background, old Myron packing faggots on a jack. The weary slave weeps - he sighs - he slobbers. Grief lays her heavy hand upon him.

Scene 2. - Comanches on the war-path, headed by the chief, Ingomar. Parthenia arrives and offers to remain as a hostage while old Myron returns home and borrows thirty dollars to pay his ransom with. It was pleasant to note the varieties of dress displayed in the costumes of Ingomar and his comrades. It was also pleasant to observe that in those ancient times the better class of citizens were able to dress in ornamental carriage robes, and even the rank and file indulged in Benkert boots, albeit some of the latter appeared not to have been blacked for several days.

Scene 3. - Parthenia and Ingomar alone in the woods. "Two souls with but a single thought, etc." She tells him that is love. He "can't see it."

Scene 4. - The thing works around about as we expected it would in the first place. Ingomar gets stuck after Parthenia.

Scene 5. - Ingomar declares his love - he attempts to embrace her - she waves him off, gently, but firmly - she remarks, "Not too brash, Ing., not too brash, now!" Ingomar subsides. They finally flee away, and hie them to Parthenia's home.

ACTS III and IV. - Joy! Joy! From the summit of a hill, Parthenia beholds once more the spires and domes of Silver City.

Scene 2. - Silver City. Enter Myron. Tableau! Myron begs for an extension on his note - he has not yet raised the whole ransom, but he is ready to pay two dollars and a half on account.

Scene 3. - Myron tells Ingomar he must shuck himself, and dress like a Christian; he must shave; he must work; he must give up his sword! I His rebellious spirit rises. Behold Parthenia tames it with the mightier spirit of Love. Ingomar weakens - he lets down - he is utterly demoralized.

Scene 4. - Enter old Timarch, Chief of Police. He offers Ingomar - but this scene is too noble to be trifled with in burlesque.

Scene 5. - Polydor presents his bill - 213 drachmas. Busted again - the old man cannot pay. Ingomar compromises by becoming the slave of Polydor.

Scene 6. - The Comanches again, with Thorne at their head! He asks who enslaved the chief? Ingomar points to Polydor. Lo! Thorne seizes the trembling broker, and snatches him bald-headed!

Scene 7. - Enter the Chief of Police again. He makes a treaty with the Comanches. He gives them a ranch apiece. He decrees that they shall build a town on the American Flat, and appoints great Ingomar to be its Mayor! [Applause by the supes.]

Scene 8. - Grand tableau - Comanches, police, Pi-Utes, and citizens generally - Ingomar and Parthenia hanging together in the centre. The old thing - The old poetical quotation, we mean - They double on it - Ingomar observing "Two souls with but a single Thought," and she slinging in the other line, "Two Hearts that Beat as one." Thus united at last in a fond embrace, they sweetly smiled upon the orchestra and the curtain fell.

Man alive, that Twain feller needs to get a blog!

(The entire compendium of Twainiacal articles can be found here, and the entire twainquotes site is the result of the hard work of Barbara Schmidt, who describes herself as an "independent researcher, writer and consultant for Mark Twain related projects. So there you go.)
posted by Terry at 1:50:00 PM