Chet the E-Mail Boy is on the MOVE today!!

This just in from Jim Smith in Dan'l Boone country:

Subject: chia possum

Given time and creativity, it might be possible to make mildew look like a full head of hair. In the Birmingham climate this should continue to grow for a long time. Of course you are too young to have that problem.

Sadly, although flattering to think it might be true, I am not too young to have to wrestle with the spector of male pattern baldness. I am well into my golden curmudgeon years, and only a few short winters away from total decrepit bittertude.

I do have, however, a nice thick pile of head fur, making the addition of mildew not the least bit welcome.

Yes, I realize it may be styled and shaped nicely in a Ron Popeil, hair-in-a-spraycan fashion, and it is certainly cheaper. But, it is simply too much. I know, I know--you say, "what about the sloth and his algae-coated hair?" WHAT OF HIM!! I say. Nasty, seven-deadly-sin, green-haired punk-rocker sort of critter--not the least bit noble like your lovable marsupial type people.

I just cannot care how well it covers, the mildew must go.

I now retire to my chambers for a nice Clorox rinse.
posted by Terry at 10:01:00 AM