Paterfamilias Update

(Thanks for the plug, Dr. Weevil!) Friday was busy, but Saturday just about kill't me--up early (stinkin' children) got dressed, and proceeded to clean all the personal effects out of the Olds in preparation for trading it in. I thought long and hard about this, knowing that I could probably get a few hundred more if I sold it myself, but I just couldn't bear to sell it to someone with the thought that the used tranny I just had installed might not get them to the bottom of the hill. So, give it to the people with no scruples and let it be on THEIR conscience! Anyway, got it all cleaned out of my accumulated junk from the past few years--hard hat, hunting boots, two sets of tools, first aid kit, six large burlap coffee bean bags, fire extinguisher, cig lighter air compressor, assorted highly flammable cloths saturated with petroleum distillates, three ice scrapers, five pounds of assorted bits of stuff much too valuable to throw away (like the broken radio knob)--then I got down to actually cleaning the thing. Amazing how much dirt can be held in a car. Must have been a five gallon bucket full. Or so. After a while, it looked very nice again, and I cleaned the upholstery and even cleaned all the schmutz off the door jambs.

Sometime in there Reba took the other three kids to their games, and I took Rebecca to hers (after first stopping at the car wash--gotta clean outside, too!). Real good game, with a final of 2-2. The other team scored both of theirs on penalty kicks due to our bad habit of touching the ball with our hands, but overall, it was a commendable effort. Got back home, and found the other two kids had both won their games, although Reba only got to watch Catherine. Jonathan was on another field, but from his accounting of the action, he managed to do okay, and got to play most of the first half. I'm sure he ran around slowly and waved his arms. Go with your strengths, as I always say.

Then it was time to go spend huge gobs of cash.

WARNING: MIND-NUMBINGLY BORING RECITATION OF MINIVAN MINUTIAE AHEAD

Readers who have ADHD or who simply detest minivans may wish to skip this part.

We took the van and the car, got over to the dealer on Highway 280 and found that ahhh, no, we don't have any Odysseys. "But I checked this morning, and it said on your website that you still had two, and they were both here." Ahhhh, let me check. Hmm. "Remember, early this week when you said you were going to have them send it over here so we could look at it?" Ahhh. "Well, they were supposed to, but, ummm, someone else was trying to arrange financing on it, and, aahhmmm, it didn't get here yet."

::sigh::

"But we can have it over here in a little while."

I jumped on him and started shoving his head into the tailpipe of a Lexus on the showroom floor..."Oh. Well. How long will that take? We've got things we have to go do later." "Not real long." I picked him up by both legs and started twirling him around my head, then dropped him into one of the nice potted plants by the water fountain..."I guess we can just drive over there, then."

Okay.

Oddly enough, he had to follow us so he could do the paperwork, since he was our "consultant". Whatever--time's a'wastin'. All the Oglesbys clamber onto the vehicles like the Darlings leaving Mayberry and head over to Pelham. Our nice young man called ahead and asked that they have the van pulled up front for us to look at when we got there. What a nice guy.

Got to the other lot, and sure enough, there she was. Silver, with grey interior, spit-shined (Ask For It By Name!) to a fare thee well, and thankfully lacking in the odd smoker's funka-funka that haunted the example we had driven earlier. The kids proceeded in their attempts to demolish it and I went and got the key for a test drive. Drove like a Honda minivan. While we were out, they did the appraisal on my car, which is a fomal way of saying they looked on the Kelley Blue Book website, got the absolute lowest wholesale value and deducted 98%. Gosh, this hurt. Start signing all the paperwork, and quickly banished kids to the children's padded room.

Seriously. Six inch thick crumb rubber padded play floor. And two bean bags. And a filthy doll. And a Busy Bead. And a TV tuned into SpongeBob.

Took forever, and Reba finally had to leave in the Plymouth just to get Oldest back in time to get ready for her play. Finally got finished, and we are now proud Odyssey owners. It's enough to make me want to go plow a seashore.

Comparisons between it and the seven years older Plymouth--'bout equal in terms of interior space, Honda got 'em beat on interior fit and finish and NVH control, seating versatility is the Honda's strong point--the fold down rear seat is really nice. Having had to wrestle the rear seat out of the Mopar in the past, it is not something I relish having to do, likewise the center seats. Boy are they heavy. The new one has dual powered sliding doors--with our group of kids, rapid egress is a blessing. (Gotta hand it to Chrysler, though--they pioneered this feature. Ours was before that time, however). Obviously, the Honda is better, but driving them back to back just points out how comparitively good Chryslers were in '94. They had it going on, and still manage to do pretty well. But, time marches on, and the current Honda and the new-for-2004 Sienna both beat it--it's time for an upgrade, Highland Park boys. I predict the next Chrysler will have the fold away rear seat, too. Just too clever not to have, and will probably have some more power, and some nicer standard equipment. Hard to get much more refined on the concept, though, which is something that must be given to the Detroiters--it was a good idea when they thought it up, and it took over ten years for anyone to even get close. Anyway, enough of that crap.

Got home, Reba took Oldest up to the theater, I stayed home and got the rest fed and scrubbed for church on the morrow and did laundry. (For those who worry about my testosterone output--I also watched racin' while I folded, and I occasionally broke wind and scratched myself in unmentionable places.) Reba and Ashley got home, the rest of the kids got in the bed, and along about Very Late:30 we finally crawled under the covers.

AAAGGGHH!! WHAT'S THAT NOISE!! How did it get morning already? Sunday, up, dress, get kids up and dressed, breakfast, catch a brief glimpse of Donald Rumsfeld tearing Tim Russert a new one, hop in New Van, go to church building, go to class, go to worship, go to parking lot, get buttonholed by one of the moms who wants a picture of us for her kid's scrapbook project. She's got a gigantic 35mm camera and has a purse the size of a suitcase and wants us to go stand over there by the pear tree, and then so that she has some elbow room, she plops said suitcase-sized handbag down BOOM onto the hood of a purchased-just-18-hours-earlier, silver Honda Odyssey. And you know, the hood on those things just slopes down so steep, and this thing had just been waxed or something, so PLOP we had to just shove that satchel back up there and let it hang on the little windshield squirter thing on the hood.

I thought Reba was going to kill her. She had that look in her eye like Jack Nicholson in The Shining.

The woman wandered over to the tree and I gingerly picked up her luggage and sat it on one of the seats. Poor Reba. What could she do? This woman's whole family is like that--not malicious, just abundantly oblivious. ::sigh::

People.

Let her take her precious picture, then it was on to home, and the final performance of The Jungle Book. Hoo-ray. Again, I stayed back with the other kids and tried to finish up the laundry (unsuccessfully), and then after the girls got back, it was on the road to church again, where we learned that one of the coworkers of a member has a husband in the 101st. And that he had not been heard from in the latest round of fighting. Our own contingent includes six men--three of whom are in the Middle East. As always, we prayed for them, for their safe return, for their success in battle, and for the lives of those who oppose us.

God have mercy on us all.
posted by Terry at 4:55:00 PM