[..] Now if you go into any home improvement store in the south you will find a number of potions, powders and elixers guaranteed to remove fire ants from your property forever and leave you with a gaping hole in your wallet. They do work; just not forever, and like anything, some products work better than others. That means you can easily end up with several half-used containers of poison on the shelf and never enough of one type to do any good.

But I found a better way to kill fire ants. There's almost always enough of it in your shed and every time you go fill up the lawnmower gas can at the local 7-11, you refill your fire ant killer supply... Since it was usually during my weekly yard mowing chore that I would come across the offending ant mounds, I decided to fight fire ants with fire... First, you take about a cup of gasoline and pour it directly into the mound, then walk away for 3 or 4 minutes. (Waiting is important as it allows the gasoline fumes, which are heavier than air to penetrate deep into the mound and the surrounding tunnels. So wait.) After making certain that no small children are nearby, though they do actually like this part, toss a match onto the mound. Whoof! and Whuump! The fire will ignite the fumes that are now deep underground and kill lots of fire ants. Its almost like using on of those Bunker Buster bombs the Pentagon's so proud of! You may even be able to hear their little hard bodies crackling... Anyway, some black smoke will come up out of the mound and you want to watch to ensure your lawn doesn't catch fire, but it's a wonderful 5 minute diversion from mowing and it will keep the fire ants under control.

So, that's it; Nate's fire ant punishment method. It's not approved by anybody and your spouse will probably complain. But it works and its so satisfying! [...]