Possumblog News Center's Minnesota Correspondent Toni Albani (who has been snowed in her Frostbite Falls home since late August) sends the following dispatch:

Terry - I got a guffaw from this, hope you will too. Tractor leads officers on low-speed chase to South Dakota

It is, indeed, a story worthy of the Coen Brothers--

Robert Franklin
Star Tribune

Published Feb. 19, 2003

To John Deal, it seemed like an odd phone call from a sheriff's office before 4 a.m. Tuesday: Did he own a green Steiger tractor towing a chisel plow, and how much fuel did it have?

Deal's 325-horsepower tractor -- with a full tank, four-wheel drive and towing an 18-foot-wide plow that could fold out to 35 feet -- had been stolen and was leading law officers on a low-speed chase through Traverse County in western Minnesota.

THAT, my friends, is a TRACTOR!!

And, Deal said, when he told them about the fuel and "they knew that thing would go for 24 hours without stopping, they were a little concerned."

When reached for comment, sheriff's department officials were quoted as saying, "Yup, we were a little concerned."

The chase didn't last 24 hours.

Aww, darn.

But it went on for more than 20 miles until the tractor crossed into South Dakota and rammed a patrol car and two pickup trucks at a Hutterite colony near White Rock.

Did you say, HUTTERITES!?!

No one was injured, but the squad car and one pickup were totaled. A 29-year-old man from Herman, Minn., was jailed.

"It was really a dangerous situation," said Deal, who was told about the chase by law officers. "He was going down these side roads with no lights on."

Maybe it's just me, but I think 'insufficient illumination while under way' was probably the least of their worries. I could be wrong, though...

Some reports had the tractor traveling at up to 30 miles an hour, but Deal said the likely top speed was 22 to 24.

I don't know, it might have got up to 24.6, although if it bogged down a bit, it might only get to 19.35. But 30? Yeah, that's WAY too fast. Unless it was downhill part of the way, and he got on some ice. Mighta got up to 29.21 or so.

Dany Pederson, general manager of Pederson's Agri-Sv implement dealership in Herman, said, "They're a pretty hefty tractor. It's not the speed that's going to cause the damage, it's the bulk of it."

Much like 'it's not the fall that kills you, it's that sudden deceleration at ground level.' That is a pretty hefty tractor, though, just like he says. By the way, please be sure and stop by Pederson's Agri-Sv, newest sponsor of Possumblog--the open house is March 21st--don't miss it!

Anyway, on with our story...just HOW did this all come to be, you may ask--

The chase started after a 2:30 a.m. call to 911 from someone seeking a ride -- a call apparently made by the driver himself after his pickup truck had run into a snowy ditch. The man apparently walked 1 1/2 miles, past another farm, to Deal's father's place, where he found the Steiger Panther 325 with a key in it.

Obviously, he had to drive something, he was too drunk to walk any further. Oh, and by the way, I give you the Steiger Panther 325, in all of its seductive glory. (Well, it's actually the Case-IH version--Case bought out Steiger a while back.)

"Anything else he got into wouldn't have started," said Deal, who with four other family members farms 3,000 acres of crops between Herman and Wheaton.

The driver didn't head back to his pickup, so "I would have no idea what his intention was," said Deal, who speculated that the man might have been lost or disoriented.

Yup, lost or disoriented, I speculate.

Meanwhile, the Grant County Sheriff's Office in Elbow Lake,

Okay, look--when you've got Ten Thousand Lakes, you're gonna have to start naming them after anything you can think of, including out of the way body parts. Just be glad you don't live near a lake named after something gynocological.

which had received the 911 call, dispatched deputy Dale Christopherson to find the stranded motorist.

Christopherson crossed into Traverse County west of Herman, came upon the tractor and stopped it. But, as he approached, it "sped" away, said Traverse County Sheriff Donald Montonye.

Yup, musta been goin', oh, what say, 4, 4 1/2, mebbe even 5 mile an hour.

The deputy had to take evasive action twice when the tractor reversed direction and drove directly at him, the sheriff said.

Cars from Grant, Traverse, Otter Tail counties and the Wheaton Police Department took up the chase.

Thus providing a rich source of stories for years to come...

At the White Rock colony, the tractor swung around and plowed into the back of Christopherson's car, Montonye said.

The driver, whose name wasn't released because he hadn't been charged Tuesday, was taken to the Roberts County jail in Sisseton, S.D.

The tractor had little damage other than a broken hitch that was welded back together, Deal said.

Better'n new!

"It never crossed our mind that someone would steal a tractor with a chisel plow in your own yard," he said.

Well, you know, it's them kids watching that MTV and drinking all that Zima and stuff. Used to be a body could leave his snowplow on the street with the engine running and no one would bother it, and now you can't even leave the keys in it in your own yard. Of course, you don't even wanna think what he woulda done if it didn't have the plow on there and woulda had the rake or the drill or the moldboard or the spray rig or the disc on there.

"It's a happy ending that nobody got hurt."

Except for the tractor.

Anyway, that's not the end of the story--looking at today's paper, we see the following: Tractor-chase suspect charged, jailed in S.D.

Thomas Arthur Dahl, 29, of Herman, Minn., has been charged in conjunction with a low-speed tractor chase early Tuesday in western Minnesota and eastern South Dakota.

He was being held Wednesday in lieu of $2,000 bail in Roberts County, S.D., after being charged with aggravated assault, two counts of first-degree intentional damage to property and possession of stolen property. He made a first court appearance in Sisseton, S.D.

[...] The sheriff said the man had been drinking but was "rational, coherent, cooperative and apologetic" when the chase ended.

Look, just 'cause he was drunk doesn't mean he wasn't polite.

Anyway, many thanks to Toni--I almost posted your dentist story, but thought you might not want that much information out there, especially the part about having to clean up someone else's Technicolor yawn in your dad's dental office.

(Then again, if enough people want to hear it, the Editorial Staff may have to bow to the will of the readers...)
posted by Terry at 11:18:00 AM