In A Very Weekend Condition...

It's nowhere near time to leave yet, but that shouldn't stop a boy from wishing, should it? Of course not.

Last night was a killer--from work, straight to the soccer park where Mom handed over Middle Girl and Boy for me to watch, while she went home to get supper started AND simultaneously take Oldest to Jungle Book Rehearsal--after soccer I brought the kids home, then had to go get gas in Reba's car, then go pick up Oldest from Jungle Book Rehearsal.

In between all the relaxing driving around Paradise-on-Cahaba, there was much walking. Jonathan's practice was on a field completely across the park from Rebecca's, so I spent the whole time going from one to the other to make sure they didn't get into any mischief and trying to track down the lady who knew who Catherine's coach was going to be. Found her on ANOTHER field, so I detoured down and, thank heavens, Cat has a different coach from the one in the fall. As an added bonus, one of her little kindergarten friends is on the team and her friend's dad is the coach, so it should be much more enjoyable for her. She got new cleats for her birthday and has been about to bust to try them out.

The park was full, as usual, although sadly I did not see Breck Girl Mom, or our rear-yard, looks-like-a-young-Phyllis George neighbor mom, but maybe they'll show up when practices get started in earnest. I did see a brand new Honda Pilot in the parking lot on one of my many traverses--we can't afford to get anything right now, and even if we could, we probably would opt for another minivan instead of a Pilot, but they are still interesting for no other reason than their ability to seat eight.

Or one and a half.

I decided on one of my rounds that I should be nosey and see what this one looked like inside so I traipsed up the hill and came alongside it and was just about to raise my hand and squint inside the window when I caught a glimpse of something in the second row...a...oops... an occupant. I had slowed my pace a bit and was just about to ask her if she would mind if I looked at her car when I noticed that she had a bundle across her chest. Wrapped in a fuzzy blanket. YIKES!! BREASTFEEDING WOMAN!!! AAGHHH!! I just kept walking on past and then stood there in the driveway, looking both ways, acting like I was looking for someone...hmmmm, nope nobody up that way....ahhhh, nope, "they" aren't down that way, either. Hmm. Welllll, I guess I'll just mosey overrrr HERE and wait for "them" somewhere else.

I ducked into the men's room and decided that it would be better to go to the dealer and look.

Went and watched Jonathan some more, then went back and watched Rebecca, whose team had started a scrimmage. I stood up at the top of the field and noticed that the world was out of alignment, since I had gotten on the same side of the field as the tall, thin, balding dads. The short, fat, bushyhaired ones (well, there is one guy who looks like Drew Carey, right down to the buzz cut and BCUs) were clean across on the other side of the field. I wish I had made the effort to move, because I was soon discovered by two little feral four-year-old boys. "HEY! HEY! You is a BABY! I DON LIKE YOU! YOU STUPID!" Little turds. "Well, young fellows, you don't have very good manners." "YOU DUMB! BABY!" Good grief. I leaned down to the closest one, "Son, where's your mother?" "She HOME!" ::sigh:: "Well, where's your dad, then? You really need to go find him." "I DON KNOW. He somewhere ove dere." Ass. Of course, if my kids acted like this, I'd abandon them at the soccer park, too. "You've never had a spanking before, have you?" Vigorous head shake side-to-side--"NO!! I don get NO spankins." Figures. "YOU BIG STUPID DUMB BABY MAN!!" They finally went off to go get hurt or fall down a hole or something so their loving parents can sue somebody for their own neglectfulness. For what it's worth, my children have never, and will never, talk to an adult like that. Or else.

Anyway, practice over, got the kids home and got them started taking their baths, then went back out to get some sweet, sweet OIIIIILLLLLL (actually a refined petroleum product I like to call GASSSSS-o-LEEEEEEEN) in the Oldsmoboogie, then back over to the theater to pick up Oldest and watch a minute or two of rehearsal. Wow, hell hath no fury like community theater. Keep chewing up the scenery like that and you're not gonna have any left. Thankfully, the wolf parts had all been done, so Ashley got to leave and we could get home and get something to eat.

At nearly nine p.m.

Just a tip, but it's best not to eat spicy chicken with onions and peppers and tomatoes two hours before beddy-bye. Unless you just really like being chased all night by huge, angry, red-eyed poultry.

Tomorrow is the final day of pony riding for the older three, and then we are going to take Catherine out to her favoritest restaurant for her no-little-kids-just-family-members birthday dinner (the hyperactive-little-friends skate date is next weekend). She decided she wanted to go to Palace, the swankiest of the Chinese joints in T'ville, over by the movie theater and across the parking lot from her other most favoritest place, Wal-Mart. She has quite the sophisticated palate, you know, as well as a finely tuned ability to find toys.

I am forgetting something else we're supposed to do, but for the life of me I can't remember what it is. I'm sure that I'll get informed five minutes before it happens.

Anyway, y'all have a good weekend and I'll see you Monday.
posted by Terry at 4:18:00 PM