Young Arab breaches security at Stansted Airport

The Associated Press
11/19/02 12:22 PM
LONDON (AP) -- An young man of Arab extraction got past security at London's Stansted Airport and into the cockpit of an empty passenger jet before he was caught, police said Tuesday.

Authorities said, however, they found nothing to link Josef Monti, 18, who lives in Paris, with any terrorist organization.

Monti reportedly broke into the European Aviation Boeing 737 Wednesday and urinated in the cockpit, police said. He pleaded guilty at Chelmsford Crown Court on Friday to one count of criminal damage and two charges under the Aviation Security Act.

Monti was being held for psychiatric evaluation. Police said Monti gave them no credible reasons for his behavior.

British news reports said that after arriving in Britain aboard a Eurostar train from France, Monti asked for directions to north London's Finsbury Park mosque, which is widely regarded as a center of radical Islam in Britain.

Police said they were unable to confirm that report.

So this is what it’s come to—from the pervasive fear of al-Quaida, to the Shoe Bomber, to the Cockpit Pisser. How sad. What’s next?—[insert dreamy sounding music--fade to small bungalow on outskirts of major city]

Hakim, our brother Josef Monti has struck a mighty blow against the Zionists with their effrontery to fly through the houri-filled blue skies of Allah, so we too must do our part, praise Allah.

What is it you propose, beloved brother Achmet?

Thank you for asking—I have the secret weapon feared by all filthy whores of Satan—into this paper bag, I have placed the leavings of vicious unclean mongrel dogs. Upon the doorstep of the Great Satan, I will place this and call down avenging fire upon the sack using this Zippo I stole from the Jew store, and when the vile bastard child of Satan opens his door, he will soil his already filthy shoes as he tries in vain to quench the ever-burning fire of judgment!

::gasp:: Brother Achmet! You are so brilliant in your quest—you didn’t put your fingers on the dog poopies did you?

No, of course not. I made my daughter do it.

Very clever—what great angel of Satan will you strike—The FBI? The CIA? The Postal Offices?

Well, Hakim, a fine and learned question you have asked. The vicious Jewlovers have much power of the djin to do harm to me, and although I glory in martydom, I do not wish to enter Paradise with large portions of my ample, swelling haunches shot away by the blind pigs of Satan, so I was thinking this weapon should be unleashed upon someone more deserving of punishment. Possibly the evil whore dog woman known as Wendy the Weathergirl from the Zionist Channel 8, inshallah.

Ah, again a clever thing to do, and as you also, I do not wish to see your firm and manly hinder regions damaged. When will you do this great deed?

Right now, my brother—I have carefully mapped out my route to the lair of the vile scum woman, and I now will call upon Allah to guide my hand steadily as I light the bag.

But, Achmet…

Silence brother Hakim!

—BUT ACHMET, should you not wait…

AHHHHHHAHHHHHHHH THE BAG!! IT IS ON FIRE!!!! AAAAAAHHHHHHHGHHHH STOMP IT STOMP IT!

You know, Achmet, your wife is going to be very angry about the burnt poopies upon the carpets of the house.

Shut up, Hakim.
posted by Terry at 1:08:00 PM