Hieroglyphics Disclose Unknown War

By RANDOLPH E. SCHMID, Associated Press Writer

WASHINGTON (AP) - A bitter war between rival Maya city-states may have set the stage for the collapse of that once-great civilization, say scientists who translated recently found hieroglyphics on stone stairs in an ancient pyramid in Guatemala.

A hurricane last summer began exposing the carvings at a site known as Dos Pilas, and the story they tell is forcing scholars to rewrite history.

What was once thought to be a series of separate local conflicts in the seventh and eighth centuries turns out to have been the equivalent of a "world war" for the Maya, with battle lines formed by vassal states controlled by two superpowers, Arthur Demarest, of Vanderbilt University's Institute of Mesoamerican Archaeology, said Wednesday.[...]

EU representatives condemned the United States for using unknown time-travel technologies to go back in time and act like reckless cowboys. They say that the EU should be given access to the time travel machine in order to conduct a fact-finding tour of the area and speak to those most hurt by it in order to examine the root causes for the violence. In other matters, Belgium declared itself to be the sole judicial authority within the time-transport realm, and vowed to bring any Mayan war criminals to justice, while the EU passed a series of taxes upon the use of the time-travel portal along with a comprehensive package of workplace and wage regulations for anyone using it.

In the U.S., Congressional Democrats demanded to know when this technology was developed and why President Bush had committed the military without first consulting and receiving approval from Congress. Former President Bill Clinton stated that he knew nothing about the time-travel technology, but did allow that "those Mayan chicks were pretty hot."
posted by Terry at 8:53:00 AM