She knows a sucker when she sees one...

The Sweetheart of Vidalia Janis Gore sends the following:

Dear Mr. Oglesby, hon:

Read my last post. Now, set your voluminous imagination to work thinking of a new title for the World Summit for Sustainable Development. I have Tim Blair working on it (it’s amazing what you can do with a monetary bribe). Clever boy that he is, he came up with Summit of the Vanities. I’m sure your readers would love to play.

Yes, money for Aussie Tim Cobber Mate, and cooing "hon" in my ear. You certainly know how to get me to do something. (Note to Self: Must try to figure out why everyone meows and makes a whip-cracking sound whenever I walk by)

IN ANY EVENT, having been tasked with this...task, I now put on my furry Jim Traficant-inspired Possumblog Thinking Cap™ and offer up the following bilgespew:

World Summit for Sustainable Development = World Summit of Drawing "Kick Me" Signs to Put On Back of U.S.'s Pants

World Summit for Sustainable Development = World Summit for Sustainable Whining About Hunger, As We Stuff Our Munchholes With Foie Gras and Lobster (Which Seemed Just a Bit Tough, Don't You Think? And the Champagne Tasted Like Mop Water)

World Summit for Sustainable Development = World Summit for Income Redistribution

World Summit for Sustainable Development = Johannesburg Shakedown!

World Summit for Sustainable Development = World Summit for Sustainable Bureacracy

World Summit for Sustainable Development = That episode of Andy Griffith when Aunt Bea makes a kitchen full of kerosene pickles

For the benefit of allowing the other side to speak, we read this Featured Story from the website:

Plenary Sessions on Action Areas Conclude With Forward-Looking Proposals

Johannesburg, 29 August— By conference standards, the plenary sessions on six areas where the World Summit on Sustainable Development is expected to make a difference, was extraordinary.

Well, I'm sure by "conference standards" anything is extraordinary. Except for the crappy champagne.

Instead of endless prepared statements, serious moderated discussions were held, that forced representatives of governments and major groups to think on their feet and consider various points of view.

Wow. Serious moderated discussions that forced representatives to think. ON THEIR FEET, no less! (Chairs must have been in short supply) AND consider various points of view. (The U.S.--Evil, or Stupid, or Both?) The sheer mental agony of such must have been horrific.

Plenary organizers knew it was uncharted territory for a Summit and were uncertain what to expect.

Lions? Tigers? The Spanish Inquisition?

But with South Africa's Foreign Minister Nkosazana Zuma chairing all but one of the sessions, and the UN Secretary-General's Special Envoy to the Summit moderating, the sessions turned out to be both stimulating and informative.

As I was toiling away the past few days on my stupid PowerPoint presentation, all I could think of is how I wished I could be stimulated by Nkosazana Zuma (soooo dreamy!), and informed by a Special Envoy. (You know, this world needs a Special Envoy Olympics.)

The special plenary sessions were intended to promote partnerships aimed at implementing projects in five action areas identified by United Nations Secretary-General Kofi Annan which include water and sanitation, energy, health, agricultural productivity, and biodiversity and ecosystem management. An additional session was held on finance and other cross-cutting issues.

Ministers of Serious Chatting for various countries were seen looking gravely at each other, whilst Plenipotenitaries of Harrumphing and Throat Clearing added a somber background accompaniment. By conference standards, it was extraordinary.

"The sessions went far beyond my expectations," according to Luis Gomez Echeverri of the UN Development Programme, adding that the moderating by Pronk and the willingness of Zuma to chair the meetings helped considerably.

Well, I tell you, you get Pronk and Zuma together in a backfield, and nine times outta ten you know their gonna try the play-action pass to the strong side. They both have good speed and quickness; and are tough, physical players one-on-one with the linebackers... Sorry. Must be serious. I really could use some of that great Pronk Moderating and Zuma Chairing to bring me back down to earth.

But the efforts to put the sessions together, including the preparation of comprehensive reports pointing out possible areas for action in the five action areas, he said, was one of the best examples of cooperation within the UN system and between the UN and the World Bank.

So the earlier joy about eliminating prepared statements only meant that they were handed in after the fact for the comprehensive report, rather than being part some guy's droning lecture. Fair enough. (Wonder how many trees were killed for all that paper. PAPER IS MURDER!)

"There were 250 people from every agency working on this," Echeverri said. "I've never seen a group like this work together like this, putting out five books in five weeks."

That's a hell of a lot of tree-murdering bureacrats you got there, Sparky. Could it be time to promote global sustainability by dusting off the Possumblog Corollary and tieing them all in sacks and dropping them off a cliff in Iran?

But there is still the question of what comes next.

That certainly has crossed my mind.

Pronk said the process must continue, with an even more intense level of debate, with governments participating more fully in the give-and-take discussions.

I am just SOOOOO surprised! When the world needs immediate action to forestall a terrifying global catastrophe, whatta we gonna do!? HAVE A PROCESS!

"We need this process and we should establish such a process for the five areas." Each area needs a different type of process, he added. "I hope there will be a decision at the Summit that the new approach will be embraced."

"Embrace A Process, Promote Sustainability"

Pronk said it was clear from the discussion on water that there was overwhelming sentiment that a goal for reducing the number of people who lack proper sanitation should be established, and in the energy sessions, there was substantial interest in renewable energies.

Plonk also said that clean air was good, the sun was hot, his name was Plonk, rocks are hard, and mean people suck.

Echeverri said that each of the sessions resulted in a number of proposals. "If that is not a mandate to proceed on a select number of issues, then I think we have wasted our time," he said.

Heaven forbid!

On water, which he said so many countries were willing to put a lot of money into, and on energy, processes and mechanisms should be established. "They can play a major role on influencing policies that could lead to more investment. If we do this jointly, and concentrate mobilizing political will, it can make a tremendous difference."

And if Grandma had wheels she'd be a rickshaw.

On the energy discussions, Pronk said there were concrete proposals to do away with subsidies, and to see the quick entry into force of the Kyoto Protocol, "if only to do away with the disastrous consequences of global warming."

The Road To Hell Paving Project continues apace.
posted by Terry at 11:04:00 AM