I think that today’s column started out as a complaint about John Walker Lindh’s plea bargain, but then, without thinking (so what else is new), Richard typed “John Ashcroft” on his word processor. Richard’s left eye started involuntarily twitching, his knee began jerking uncontrollably, venomous drool started dribbling down his chin, and he flipped! Richard must have felt an uncontrollable urge to switch gears, deleting whatever he had been working on and furiously penning a screed that breaks through all conventions of reason and reasonableness, rivaling Dan’s rather loopy “what’s the frequency Kenneth” episode for credibility.

I can only assume that John Ashcroft is out to get Richard Cohen – that the Justice Department Brown Shirts are on the way to some A-list party to rough up the host and trash the place, knocking Richard around, handcuffing him and dragging him away to be held incommunicado, for an indeterminate time, at an undisclosed location, where he will be subjected to a tough and ruthless interrogation by a rough and toothless FBI agent – all without the benefit of a lawyer (or an editor).

Either that is happening right now, or Richard Cohen is on the verge of being diagnosed as a paranoid schizophrenic in need of hospitalization after writing Spotlight John [...]