Well, I know the car tag saga was one that you just couldn't wait for. As always, the trek across the park to the Courthouse proved to be interesting, starting off with the sight of a pigeon bathing in the fountain--I mean, who knew they ever bathed? The security screening seems a bit more streamlined now, and the multicolored computer printout of box cutters and pocket knives and bazookas has been replaced with a simpler "No Weapons Allowed" sign. Dropped my keys and my pocket change into the plastic bins and walked through the metal detector with my honking huge Rotring 600 Multipen, which has enough solid metal in it to make an M-1 Garand jealous. But apparently not enough to be considered a threat. Not to mention the fact that I was packing a P-38, the single most versatile tool ever devised by man. MacGiver ain't got nothing on me.

Anyway, down to the Stand and Shuffle and the most amazing thing I've ever seen in civil service. A genuinely attractive employee--mid-twenties, blonde, just-done-biscuit suntan, tight white Hilfiger polo shirt, khakis--she looked like she was about to go to the beach. As I said last week about banks, standing like a cow in a dosing pen would be much more fun if there were attractive and entertaining diversions such as jugglers, strolling musicians, lap dancers, beverages--so this is definitely a good start. Of course, this being the people's business, or lest you think public service is going to be just like the private sector, the poor hapless business guy who was getting several tags had been at her window for nearly an hour. He was still waiting as I left. Thankfully, after I spent my time in line, I didn't get the anti-cutie Jabba the Lifer who was at one of the other windows; just a normal person who let me get my tags in about five minutes and leave.

Oh what crappy tags.

I have mentioned before that these new "Stars Fell on Alabama" tags are bad. (by the way, the link is from www.auite.com, which has the essential rules for calling "shotgun") But at least the tags were bad in the abstract--now I have to put the silly things on three vehicles. Dadgummit all, I want my car tags to look like they were made by guys in the penitentiary, not by a class of third graders doing an art assignment. Actually, third graders could do better than these--the new tags have the unmistakable look and deft touch of a bureacrat. From the Mobile Register, we recall that...

[...] The new design was created by Helen Moore, a graphic artist on the governor's staff. Siegelman said a number of other designs were considered.

Moore's work replaces the air-brushed, pink-and-blue design with black letters adopted in 1997. Snellgrove said that design was created by Revenue Department employees. The department administers license plates, and is required by law to issue a new plate every five years.[...]

Feh! It's almost enough to make spend fifty bucks extra just to get one of the multitude of other tag designs--I could get Auburn University (not too bad), Alabama Forests (ugly, but not insipid), Helping Schools (juvenile design, but at least it's intentional; Lord knows the schools need help), Shakespeare Theatre (yes, it's spelled the Brit way, and has the floating head of Billy himself), USS ALABAMA (this one has NO added fee!), Alabama Wildlife Federation (so incredibly cluttered with graphics that it will bring tears to your eyes, but no twinkly stars). But a sampling. If you have too much time on your hands, you can go to the county's website at Jeffco Intouch and click through all of these--there's about a billion of them.

So, back across the park, just in time for an exciting update on the Cynthia Gould Watch! It's City Council meeting day, which is part of Miss Gould's beat. Her outfit today consists of a melon colored, cap-sleeved knit shell with matching sweater casually tied across the shoulder, a dark skirt with while floral pattern, and absolutely awful chunky shoes.

Enough of this nonsense--it's lunchtime!
posted by Terry at 11:56:00 AM