So sorry--I realize I said no posts for today, but there was all this really important stuff:

Extending Alabama’s Cultural Hegemony, One Blog at a Time
I received a plaintive missive the other day from Mr. J Bowen, writer of No Watermelons Allowed, wishing to know if his three year tour of duty in lovely Scottsboro, Alabama would be sufficient to gain entry into The Ancient and Majestic Krewe of Alablogma. J notes that he was victimized by the forces of temperance while in-country, which made his tour doubly painful, in that it required him to drive great distances in search of demon rum. His reckoning is that such privation was the equivalent of yet another three years.

Mr. Anti-Citrullus Vulgaris writes further in explaining his Weevilly qualities:

”I'm an engineer by training, IT pro by necessity, currently working an extended consulting gig in St. Louis. Base camp is in IL where the family is, but I get around - despite lacking known arrest warrants and paternity suits, so far I've had mailing addresses in 9 states. I'm part Kraut, allegedly part Indian, and I refuse to speculate about the rest. 10 years in the nuclear power biz has made me loathe left-wing environmentalists (in case there's any other kind) - if you're green on the outside but red on the inside, go away.”

Mr. Bowen, having full knowledge of the wonders of Scottsboro, such as the Unclaimed Baggage Center, and showing the proper fulfillment of all the other mysterious and squirrelly requirements of entry into the Goldenrod Quilting and Pistol Club, is hereby granted entry into the mighty Axis of Weevil, privy to all the rights and privileges thereof. As always, the famed Axis of Weevil Gift Pack is being loaded on the flatbed and will begin its journey to the Bootheel Region just as soon as the girls pack their clothes.

Croix de Grits Technical Glitch, or Nefarious Al Gore Plot?
Swabby Dennis McNiece wrote in to detail his difficulties with the Croix de Grits poll—I’m not sure what the problem is but I imagine it’s something to do with Bravenet’s servers (they were hacked last month—someone may be trying it again). I tried to access it this morning and there was no poll, but I have since monkeyed around with it and it appears to be working again. The results so far:

1.) Astrophysicist Dr. Thomas Wdowiak 3 6%
2.) Author Florence King 9 17%
3.) Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas 5 9%
4.) The black voters of Mississippi 1 2%
5.) Singer and musician Ray Charles 2 4%
6.) Ave Maria Grotto builder and way, way dead guy Br. Joseph Zoettl 6 11%
7.) Alabama's Major League Baseball players 1 2%
8.) Pulitzer Prize-winning author Edward O. Wilson 3 6%
9.) Author and really dead guy Lewis Grizzard 2 4%
10.) National Security Advisor Condoleeza Rice 21 40%

Be sure and vote, and contact your lawyers as soon as possible in order to contest the results.

All for now.
posted by Terry at 11:52:00 AM