PRISCUS INFLATIONIS
I got home yesterday afternoon and picked up the paper out of the yard and pulled the mail out of the box. Bill; giant pack of circulars; offer for credit card; two magazines--YOWZAH! Jessica Alba on the back of one mag, doing the Got Milk? thing! Little black crop top, pleather low rider britches, come-hither look, Elmer's on upper lip--I turned the magazine over expecting that it was one of my wife's subscriptions. April Boys' Life. BOYS' LIFE!? I flipped it back over to see if I had been seeing things--nope, she was still there, polluting the thoughts of America's thrifty and brave youth. The other magazine was a Boys' Life, too; the March edition. The back cover of it had an ad for the newest Scooby Doo video.

(Here it comes...) WHY, back in my day, we didn't get no hoochie-coochie pictures of voluptous, silky-haired, dark-eyed teevee stars on the backs of OUR Boys' Lifes--we got our jollies the decent way with the lingerie section of the Penney's catalog, and then when we got old enough, we stole Husters from the convenience store. Kids today! Don't want to do no work; want to have their dirty pictures right there next to the "Think and Grin" and the Gismo 4 article! Hmmph.

(I walked in to Little Boy's room this morning to wake him up to get ready for school. On top of his dresser--the March and the April issues of Boys' Life--and guess which side was turned up. That's right, the ad for Scooby Doo. "Can we get this?" "Sure, son. Hey, you mind if Daddy reads this one?")
posted by Terry at 8:21:00 AM