Last of the Red Hot Mamas
In a surprising bit of news, we add a brand new member to the Axis of Weevil, noted Hawk Girl and writer of Give War A Chance, Emily Jones. This was a complete surprise to me, and came about when Miss Jones wrote the Possumblog Mail Room to comment on "Southern gentleman" Pete Buck and his impression of an anus on a recent aeroplace flight. As an aside, I asked Miss Jones if she had voted yet for the recipient of the Croix de Grits, and she related that she voted for Condi Rice. As Emily stated it: "She's one bad ass 'Bama babe, who hopefully will have a long career in politics. Plus, I was born in Alabama, so I feel a sense of sisterhood with her..."

Alarm bells went off in my walnut-sized possum brain and I feverishly wrote Emily back to ask if she knew she might be One of Us. She wrote back to say "I'm not sure I'm eligible. I only lived there for a few years as a small child (though long enough for my first words to be in southern accent, enough so that my Texas-bred aunts always referred to me as "the last of the red hot mamas"), and haven't been back since."

I urged her to carefully re-read the qualifications and assured her that inclusion in our august group would be of benefit to all. She did as I asked, but still believed herself to not be worthy--"Well, I pretty much qualify, except that I don't own a pick-up truck. But I did learn to drive on one. Does that count?"

Oh, dear child, that's more than sufficient! And such a go-getter she is! When informed that she indeed does have a place within the Axis of Weevil if she wished it, she answered with a heartfelt "Sure. Do I have any duties or responsibilities?" Such a willingness to achieve! Such drive!

So it is with great pride that I hereby invest Miss Jones into the Axis of Weevil, and as promised, forward to her the cherished Axis of Weevil Gift Pack containing Dreamland ribs; Jim Dandy grits; a gallon jug of Milo's sweet tea; a gun rack from Mark's Outdoor Sports for her pickup (or other suitable veehickle); a package of Bubba's Beef Jerky (according to Dr. Weevil, this is homemade and is available only at the gas station at the end of Highway 82 in Bibb County); and a coupon for free underpinning for her trailer.

As Miss Emily lives now outside the South, she is entitled to also have included for her enjoyment a four-pack of handsome, muscular men from any college gymnastics team in the state (although since Miss Emily lives in California, this is a bit like coals to Newcastle.)

So then, welcome Emily as the Axis of Weevil continues its unstoppable assimilation of Alabama-soiled bloggers.

RESISTANCE IS FUTILE!
posted by Terry at 11:55:00 AM