I'm a Friend of a Friend of Goat Girl (I think)
Thanks for the link, Little Miss Cartesian Dichotomy, and I hope my explanation of yesterday was useful to you and your friends. To anyone who is visiting for the first time, this is Possumblog, home of America's Only Marsupial Blogger. We have a wide variety of meaningless drivel, along with thoughtless insensitivity, recipes for pecan divinity, fallacious logic, bitterness, truck repair tips, and a new section of paintings by Marc Chagall. (Not really).

We do have The Axis of Weevil, talented bloggers who all can claim some sort of tenuous link to Alabama either by birth, residency, or horrifying industrial/agricultural accident. Seeing as how it has been a while since the Membership Committee has listed the Requirements for Inclusion, I will take this moment to post them. Ahem:

The primary qualifications are these:

1) Born in, or now live in, or once lived in, or would like to live in, Alabama;
2) Not ashamed to admit to #1;
3) Staunchly anti-idiotarian, or can at least pretend pretty good
4) Functionally literate
5) Don't type in ALL CAPS or all e e cummings case or MiXeD.
6) Update your blog more than once a month
7) Willing to be made fun of
8) Willing to make fun of yourself
9) Have a framed picture of John Moses Browning
10) Personal library must contain more books than you will ever read
11) Must be able to recite Monty Python and the Holy Grail and give an episode synopsis of all Andy Griffith shows from memory
12) Your pickup truck must be in good working order--use of ether to get it started is not recommended, but will be allowed on a case-by-case basis

That's about it. However, like Calvinball, the rules may change in the middle of the game. Think you got what it takes? Send me a note.

Those who are accepted into this august group will each receive the Axis of Weevil Gift Pack of Dreamland ribs; Jim Dandy grits; a gallon jug of Milo's sweet tea; a gun rack from Mark's Outdoor Sports for your pickup; a package of Bubba's Beef Jerky (according to Dr. Weevil, this is homemade and is available only at the gas station at the end of Highway 82 in Bibb County); and a coupon for free underpinning for your trailer.

One gift we usually include for people outside the South is a package of four comely, busty co-eds who shave their legs and wear makeup--this was a special addition for Dr. Weevil who lives in Maine where such things are not common. We understand that the inclusion of this item may lead to some consternation among our potential female members: we ask you not to worry--you may substitute a four-pack taken from any men's college gymnastics team in the state. (Sorry, due to state law, we are unable to provide mixed-sex packages, or packages the same sex as the recipient.)

One item of note is that as of May 1, all Axis of Weevil Gift Packs will contain a 16 ounce Priester's Pecan Log and a quart of Pilateri's Steak Sauce. Also, the coupon for trailer underpinning will be changed to a coupon for free application of Kool Seal for the roof.

So, there you have it. Please feel free to wander around, although I ask that you please keep the back door closed to keep the dog out, and remember to jiggle the handle a bit after you flush or otherwise the toilet will overflow. There is some loaf bread and deviled ham if you want a sandwich. Thanks for stopping by!
posted by Terry at 9:31:00 AM