Finally! Even though I won’t be posting a lot today, it sure would have been nice to be able to post WHEN I WANTED TO, instead of having to do Real Work, then checking back every few minutes to see if Blogger was still giving me “HTTP Error 500-13” messages. Good thing I ain’t having to pay for it. Anyway…

GOOOOOOOD Morning Blog Nam! Today promises to be full of fun and surprises. For other people. I absolutely have to get a set of meeting minutes typed up today or risk immediate termination, so there will be little in the way of impressive illogical arguments and drunken, arm-waving rants. But I have a moment before work starts, so...

Weekend went as planned, except there were no trips to Wal-Mart. I made up for this by taking a load of junk to the landfill, which meant that I got to fire up Franklin. Franklin is the name my kids gave my 1982 F-100 pickup. Franklin is ancient by human standards, with 254,000 miles on the original straight six engine--I bought it a couple of years ago just to go to the dump and the hardware store. Anyway, the naming convention is actually quite sophisticated: the truck is green, it is slow, and both Ford and F-100 start with the letter "F" (My standing joke is "No, kids, it starts with a key! -- I crack me up), so quite naturally they decided it was Franklin the Turtle. In addition, in order placate the Illuminati, notice that it is not a coincidence that the model number is "100." And whose picture is on a $100 bill? Yep, Ben FRANKLIN! So it all works very well. Franklin the Turtle, for those of you without spawn from hel....I mean precious gifts from God, is a curious little turtle (no similarity to any other curious animals, especially primates, should be inferred or implied) who has a show on Nick Jr. and a huge series of books for preschoolers--"Franklin and the Tooth Fairy," "Franklin Plants a Tree," "Franklin Explores His Faith by Joining the Jihad," and stuff like that.

Now, speaking of animals--The Olympics. The only thing that has caught my notice, aside from the Women's Biathlon, is the ad for the Saturn Vue. It's potentially kinda clever--teeny-sized white Vue rolls up to a group of snowshoe hares, who are pounced upon and chased by a cougar. The lapineVue manages to escape by driving under a log. Whew! The odd part is the tagline "professional driver closed course" during the chase scene. I really, REALLY hope that was an attempt at Subtle Quirky Saturn Humor. If there is actually a lawyer deep within the bowels of GM who forced this into the commercial, he should be forced to drive a miniature Saturn for the rest of his life. Or be eaten by a cougar.

As for the world domination thing--I have the garden hose, but do any of you know how hard it is to really go out and buy 10,000 marbles? This may take longer than I thought.

Finally, today is Catherine's birthday. Our tiny little baby Kitty-cat, the caboose of our train, is now 5 years old. She's a sweetie, but has absolutely no fear. Last year she put on one of her sister's pairs of roller skates and tried to walk down the stairs. She made it to the first one, but the rest of them were a blur. Nothing like the sound of a stout screaming little toddler tumbling down steps to wake you up. I credit her survival to the fact that she is, in the charitable words of her pediatrician, "robust." I worry about the boys she will date. They will come to the door and I will put a kindly hand on their slouching shoulders--"Son, you really sure you want to do this? The doc said she's robust." But, being lovestruck kids, they won't listen and there will be much carnage. Ah, well. I guess it beats having to sit there cleaning the shotgun and ranting about the spacemen what done put that computer chip in my head.

Anyway, I have to work now! Go read everyone else's stuff! See you later on after I have saved my job! And other sorts of exclamatory comments!

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posted by Terry at 8:33:00 AM