Not in the clamor of the crowded street, not in the shouts and plaudits of the throng, but in ourselves, are triumph and defeat.--Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
REDIRECT ALERT! (Scroll down past this mess if you're trying to read an archived post. Thanks. No, really, thanks.)
Due to my inability to control my temper and complacently accept continued silliness with not-quite-as-reliable-as-it-ought-to-be Blogger/Blogspot, your beloved Possumblog will now waddle across the Information Dirt Road and park its prehensile tail at http://possumblog.mu.nu.
This site will remain in place as a backup in case Munuvia gets hit by a bus or something, but I don't think they have as much trouble with this as some places do. ::cough::blogspot::cough:: So click here and adjust your links. I apologize for the inconvenience, but it's one of those things.
Tuesday, February 01, 2005
Commercials I Dislike With a Hearty Intensity
I know, there are much more important things in the world, aren't there?
That stupid Nasonex commercial is about to drive me insane. First, the idea of a bee having allergies is pretty lame, but, whatever. At least make it an attractive bee. This one's got huge buck teeth (again, I'm willing to suspend my disbelief in bees having teeth, if they were only done right) and ugly upcurled lips, and speaks with the lisping Spanish accent of someone who got pulled into a voice-over gig when his agent called and said, "Hey, start sounding like Antonio Banderas, we finally got you a gig. And sober up before you get there!" And what's the deal with having a DRONE going around getting pollen?! Worker bees are FEMALE. It's just a stupid moronic commercial on so very many different levels, and I don't like it, and the next time it comes on I am going to say bad things.
Next was the one I saw last night for Liberty Mutual Insurance. They were one of the sponsors for the PBS documentary on Castro. (Sure, he's a murderous tyrant, but he makes such GREAT television! They had a shot of Babba Wawwa nearly wetting her pants to be near him, and an interesting set of clips from an early CBS report fawning over him and his scruffy-faced amigos hiding out in the Sierra Maestra. For those with short memories, mainstream media's fawning fascination with dictators has a long and ignoble history.) ANYWAY, aside from that, the brief sponsor blurb for Liberty Mutual shows a banana peel on a sidewalk. A voiceover goes on about how Liberty Mutual looks after you and protects you, and then some guy walks up with a yellow rubber traffic cone and puts it beside the banana peel. That's intended to be a symbol of how Liberty Mutual is out there making sure you don't hurt yourself.
Let that sink in for a second.
PICK UP THE BANANA PEEL AND PUT IT IN THE GARBAGE CAN, YOU STUPID LAZY NITWITS!
DON'T walk around like a big goober putting yellow cones everywhere! AND ANYWAY, are you gonna put cones at EVERY peel!? That sure is a LOT of cones! AND, if you're REALLY trying to be make this thing work, why not put the cone OVER the peel?
Look, if that's how bright you folks are, I'm glad I don't have insurance with you.
Now then, I feel all better.
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