Not in the clamor of the crowded street, not in the shouts and plaudits of the throng, but in ourselves, are triumph and defeat.--Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

REDIRECT ALERT! (Scroll down past this mess if you're trying to read an archived post. Thanks. No, really, thanks.)

Due to my inability to control my temper and complacently accept continued silliness with not-quite-as-reliable-as-it-ought-to-be Blogger/Blogspot, your beloved Possumblog will now waddle across the Information Dirt Road and park its prehensile tail at http://possumblog.mu.nu.

This site will remain in place as a backup in case Munuvia gets hit by a bus or something, but I don't think they have as much trouble with this as some places do. ::cough::blogspot::cough:: So click here and adjust your links. I apologize for the inconvenience, but it's one of those things.

Wednesday, January 26, 2005

I have tried to be very good and do my work.

But, you know, at some point you just have to take a minute or two and let out the thoughts that get all bottled up inside.

To whit:

1) It is not a good idea to eat anything with “vinegar‘n’salt” flavoring, and then absentmindedly rub the corner of your left eye. While you’re driving.

2) If I had never been to some kind of regulatory-type board meeting before, but I had been called to appear at one, and when I got to the place where the meeting was being held, there was a big U-shaped conference table in the middle of the room, and at each place there was a sheet of paper with the agenda on it, and then all around the perimeter of the room were just plain old chairs--why would I automatically assume that I am supposed to be sitting at the conference table?

Maybe it’s just me, but I would look at that and think to myself, “You know, I bet the people on the board I am to appear before are the one who will sit at the table, and I am supposed to sit at one of these other chairs.” I mean, if I walked into a courtroom, I can’t imagine that I would go and sit at the bench, or in the witness box. At a fancy banquet, I don’t think I would just go up and sit at the head table beside the microphone.

Yet, at nearly every one of these meetings I go to, there is always at least one person who comes in and plops down like he owns the place. They eventually move once they see that everyone else is sitting around the perimeter, although some finally ask, “Hey, am I supposed to sit here, or move over there.” “Well, we do try to reserve the spots at the table for our board members…” I always let the end trail off, as if to say, “But, you know, if you’re so clueless that you want to sit here, go ahead and be our guest, and if I may, could I offer you a back massage and a nice eyebrow tweeze?”

3) If you have a plan in your mind to surprise your wife with a stack of cards and a rousing chorus of “Happy Birthday” sung by her husband and children as she is getting ready to go to work, it’s probably best that you tell the youngest member of the family beforehand, so she doesn’t go in there and start singing before everyone is ready.

4) Before you take off all your dress clothes in the evening after you have gotten home, and put on the odd-looking baggy polka dot swim trunks and ratty t-shirt you usually wear to bed, it is a good idea to check and see if you have any toilet paper left in the house, because if you don’t, you have to get on some pants and shoes and a jacket and go to the store and buy toilet paper.

5) If you decide to play Mario Pinball on your youngest child’s GameBoy SP after she has gone to bed so she won’t mess with you and make you lose, it’s probably some sort of righteous destiny that when you manage to get over a MILLION points on just the first ball, the battery dies suddenly and without warning, losing any evidence of your incredible run of skill and luck.

6) My left knee has now been hurting in a funny bad way for two weeks now. I think I might be getting old.

Now then, I feel all better now and will return to typing up my informative, poignant, concise, touching, enlightening, meeting minutes.

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