Not in the clamor of the crowded street, not in the shouts and plaudits of the throng, but in ourselves, are triumph and defeat.--Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

REDIRECT ALERT! (Scroll down past this mess if you're trying to read an archived post. Thanks. No, really, thanks.)

Due to my inability to control my temper and complacently accept continued silliness with not-quite-as-reliable-as-it-ought-to-be Blogger/Blogspot, your beloved Possumblog will now waddle across the Information Dirt Road and park its prehensile tail at http://possumblog.mu.nu.

This site will remain in place as a backup in case Munuvia gets hit by a bus or something, but I don't think they have as much trouble with this as some places do. ::cough::blogspot::cough:: So click here and adjust your links. I apologize for the inconvenience, but it's one of those things.

Thursday, December 09, 2004

Assault with a Greasy Weapon--Man wanted for assault with burger

ROCHESTER, N.H. (AP) — Tony Carr wanted to pay for his burger. Instead, police say, he ended up smooshing the microwaved patty in a store clerk's face. Police have issued an arrest warrant for Carr, 37, of Berwick, Maine. He's charged with simple assault and criminal mischief, both misdemeanors.

Investigators say Carr got angry on Nov. 28 when the clerk at a Cumberland Farms would not allow him to pay for a hamburger while it was heating in the store microwave. Police said the clerk, Scott Litzenberger, told Carr he had to bring the burger to the counter 15 feet away to pay for it.

After a sharp exchange of words, the man walked back to the microwave, removed the steaming burger and walked back to Litzenberger.

The two apparently exchanged a few brief words again, when the customer, "just lost it," according to another clerk. Instead of paying for it, Carr shoved it into the clerk's face, burning his face and eye, police Sgt. Anthony Triano said.

Sounds like a very heated exchange...

"That time of night, you tend to get people who are belligerent. They want things they can't have and we just try and do our job," said Bill Rollo, another clerk at the store.

'And, you know, we're like, in charge, and we get to be the boss of him, and like, he was all, like, "No WAY, man!" and we were like, "Yuh-HUH!" because, you know, it's like important that we actually SEE the burger, 'cause he might have got the deluxe, and you know, it has pickles and a tomato slice, and that's like fifty cents extra.'

Rollo said when he showed up to relieve Litzenberger, "he had a burned eye and eyeball. It was all red."

Not just the eye, mind you, but the eye AND eyeball.

Rollo had gone on vacation later that week and was due back at the store Thursday.

"I'm sure he's fine now. I know he got it taken care of that night," Rollo said.

Well, obviously it's bad form to smush a steaming-on-the-outside, frozen-on-the-inside convenience store beef- and beef by-product shaped sandwich into someone's face because of something like this, so the assailant should spend a little time in the pokey for it.

But you know, it might be time for some customer service seminars at the convenience store, too.

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