More Olympic Gripes

Yet another stupid commercial. I don't know how long it's actually been airing, but I have noticed it recently because it has been interrupting the graceful athleticism of women's beach volleyball. And that makes me very angry.

Anyway, I have a warning for anyone who might order the new McDonald's® Chicken Selects® Premium Chicken Breast Strips.

They make you a paranoid psychotic.

How else to explain the reaction of people in the ads, in which the McDonald's® Chicken Selects® Premium Chicken Breast Strips seem to cause lowly office drones and hipsters to start yammering to imaginary people, whom they perceive to be attempting to steal their precious pieces of processed dead chicken flesh?

I mean, it's fried chicken, for crying out loud! Although I have my moments, I can never recall the after-effects of eating fried chicken being anything like suffering through a bad acid trip or the DTs. This senselessness on the part of consumers also flies in the face of the other chicken-based, food-like substances sold at McDonald's, such as Chicken McNuggets, which, although they might make you uncomfortable, have never been used in any dramatic After-School Specials on the dangers of deep-fried chickeny bits.

This can only mean that someone is putting some sort of secret, psychoactive substance in these "chicken strips" that makes people stark raving lunatics.

But I think McDonald's is wise to at least warn people in this way, so we will all be careful to avoid this dangerous product.

ON A BETTER NOTE--Bob Costas seems to have broken free of the Sad Pill monkey on his back, and almost appeared to smile last night. Almost.
posted by Terry at 11:20:00 AM