Not in the clamor of the crowded street, not in the shouts and plaudits of the throng, but in ourselves, are triumph and defeat.--Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

REDIRECT ALERT! (Scroll down past this mess if you're trying to read an archived post. Thanks. No, really, thanks.)

Due to my inability to control my temper and complacently accept continued silliness with not-quite-as-reliable-as-it-ought-to-be Blogger/Blogspot, your beloved Possumblog will now waddle across the Information Dirt Road and park its prehensile tail at http://possumblog.mu.nu.

This site will remain in place as a backup in case Munuvia gets hit by a bus or something, but I don't think they have as much trouble with this as some places do. ::cough::blogspot::cough:: So click here and adjust your links. I apologize for the inconvenience, but it's one of those things.

Friday, April 16, 2004

It also helps to repeat, "it's only a phase, it's only a phase, it's only a phase..."

Arguments with Teenage Daughters Can Be Good? [Ellipses in original]

LONDON (Reuters) - Mothers exasperated by petty arguments with their teenage daughters should take heart from new research in Britain which shows arguing may actually be good for their relationships with moody offspring.

Research by a Cambridge University academic shows that arguments are often used by teens as a communication tool.

"The rows often start from absolutely nothing. But they rapidly escalate to where the daughter is saying 'I hate you' and the mother is upset," British newspapers Friday quoted psychologist Dr Terri Apter as saying.

"But...daughters often use arguments to update mothers about their lives and what they are doing and what is important to them. Arguments...sometimes keep the relationship going," Apter said at the British Psychological Society's annual conference.

Apter's study found mothers and their teenage daughters on average had a spat lasting 15 minutes every two and a half days. In contrast adolescent boys were in conflict with their mothers on average every four days and only for six minutes.

As for any father considering getting involved with their daughter's rows over homework, boyfriends and untidy bedrooms, Apter's advice is -- don't bother.

"Daughters get frustrated with their fathers but tend to give them the cold shoulder and ignore them," The Independent said.

Oh, but then where would the fun be for me!?

I can't quite just give in to their advice and shrug and slump away. Although they are right (at least in my Oldest's case) about the cold shoulder treatment, every once in a while it is necessary to engage, no matter whether either one of you find it a particularly useful "communication tool."

You've got to pick your battles, certainly--but you must never abrogate your responsibility as the parent.

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