Well, now…

Now THAT was a weekend.

Friday night was Little Boy’s practice, but before that we had to take some food to one of the folks we go to church with. We had every intention of making them a big vat of soup, but Thursday night was so jam-packed that there was no time, so Reba went to the store and got some chickens and a pie and some rolls and some okra and some salad and, boy, am I making myself hungry all over again.

Boy and I packed up and took off down the hill and then back up the next before pulling into their driveway. We walked up and rang the doorbell, but they had gone elsewhere for a bit, so we got the neighbor to let us in. Little Boy helped me bring the vittles in then set in to playing with their cat while the neighbor lady and I chatted. In a small-world sort of thing, it turns out the cat originally belonged to her daughter, who went to Auburn and gradumicated in ’91. Which means we were there around the same time. Go figure.

Finished getting the food put away and went on to practice. The regular coach was out of town on business, so the loudmouthed guy from Pennsylvania (no wonder the abbreviation is PA) and a couple of other of the dads decided to put the boys through their paces. ::sigh:: Four different guys jabbering at them to do four different things. They got finished and it was back to the house, where we found that the fan was all clogged up with piles of smelly brown material.

Just a tip, kids, but it’s best to do what Mom says.

That’s it.

Just that little bit will keep a lid on a lot of heartbreak and high drama that could have come straight out of a Tennessee Williams play and prevent the release of WMD. That’s Weapons of Motherly Destruction.

I know this, which is why I have remained unBobbitted to this day, but kids, you know…always thinking they can stick their tongues to the pump handle in winter with no effect.

Anyway, it seems that there is now an electronic embargo (no TV, radios, GameBoys, CD players, videos, DVDs, &c., &c.) against anyone under 40 years of age until the house is cleaned up. Which means that it might be lifted when the youngest one hits 40, but I wasn’t about to question it. Even poor little Jonathan got hit with the ban, and he even tried to use his tender puppy-dog/Precious Moments eyes, but to no avail.

Oh well. At least there won’t be any electronic noise to drown out the normal din.

Boy had some supper and got scrubbed and it was to bed for all of them, then up again early on Saturday. Believe it or not, I actually was awakened by the alarm clock this week instead of squealing kids. Sadly, I still had to get up.

Stumbled into the shower and woke myself up, dressed and started making the rounds to get everyone else up. Cat’s game was at 9:00 and Jonathan’s game was at 11:10. Cat had to be there by 8:30, which, as usual, meant that one of her parents thought we could all leave the house at 8:30. Thankfully, this week there was a twist in the plot, since Rebecca and the rest of us were supposed to go to one of her friend’s houses for a birthday party, and NO GIFT HAD YET BEEN PURCHASED!

I got Cat and Jonathan all decked out and it was time to go. Of course, no one else was ready, so I went upstairs and sidled up behind Miss Reba as she was dishabille there in front of the mirror putting on her makeup and asked her, “Since we haven’t gotten Br…” “You want to go ahead and take Catherine and Jonathan on to the park and let us go to the store and we’ll meet you there?”

YES!!

“Well, we are running behind just a tiny bit, and she does need to go ahead and get up there, so we probably should go on and that’ll give you time to shop.”

YES!!

I did a little more neck grazing and then took off to grab the kids and their junk and throw it all in the van and go screeching off to the park.

Got there, got parked, and got her down to the field with minutes to spare. Hoo-ray.

And it turned out to be a pretty good game. I told her before we got out, “Catherine, I want you to really run hard today, and if someone on the other team gets the ball, get it away, and if your team has it, help them score a goal.” Which she pretty well did. She actually looked like she was concentrating, and she ran and ran, and she even kicked it a couple of times in the right direction, and they wound up winning 5-2 (not that we keep score, lest their tender psyches become damaged by losing.)

“WE WON, DADDY!!” “I KNOW, sugar, you did very well!” “Yes, Daddy, I KNOW!”

Stinker.

We went on up to the concession stand to wait for Boy’s game to start and to wait on Mom and the other girls to get there. They did and we sat around one of the plastic tables for a while, and then it was finally time for Boy to go play. Moving from one place to another with us is like moving an armored brigade—it’s loud and slow and there is no small amount of danger, but eventually we do manage to get where we’re going. (Then the problem is stopping.)

But stop we did and set up shop way down on one end of the bleachers. I always like to sit right in the middle so I don’t have to strain so hard to see both ends of the field, but Reba said, “Don’t you want to sit down there?” “Well, no, I’d like to sit…” “Wouldn’t you really like to sit down there were it’s LESS. CROWDED.” Then the loudmouth started screaming at his kid while they were warming up… “Ohhhh. Yes. Yes indeed. We need LOTS of room, so we need to move way down there!” He gets on her nerves almost as bad as he does mine, so a little separation is a Very Good Thing. Not that it really helps from a decibel point of view—he still sounds like a jackhammer.

Anyway, we were braced for another loss—the majority of the boys have the attention span of a crab—but in a complete surprise, they played exactly like they were supposed to! They clumped up a bit, and had some missed passes, but otherwise it was like a completely different team. And Jonathan played like a real little demon, which was even more surprising, considering how unfun practice has been. But he ran hard, and managed to get a beautiful assist on one of the two goals we scored. The other team, from Clay-Chalkville was not bad, but we managed to hold them scoreless, for a final score of 2-0. Boy was very proud of himself.

NOW, off to the birthday party. It was supposed to be a swim party, but I told the kids they weren’t about to get in there—we are right in the heart of the Bitterly Cold Alabama Autumn, after all. They didn’t really mind. We stayed for about an hour and had some hot pinata action and some cake and presents and such, then it was back to the house.

I had to cut the grass. REAL bad. The past three weeks have had zero minutes for lawn maintenance, so the weeds that managed to survive the paraquat or Agent Orange or whatever it was I sprayed on there had to be cut, and the little birdie feeders had to be filled, and the great wads of tiny baby mimosa had to be cursed. (That does just about as well as spraying them.)

Got out the Murray and proceeded on my normal route—all the way around the property line once, then the little strip between the sidewalk and the gutter, then up and down the right side of the driveway, then the front yard. Saturday’s pattern selection was a diagonal laid out on a 30 degree angle from the sidewalk—I was going to do the Camden Yard pattern, but I was running short on time. After the front, there was the up and down on the left side of the house, then back and forth across the backyard.

As I’ve mentioned before, being dragged behind the mower is a nice, relaxing way to clear the mind and get your daily dose of carbon monoxide. It’s nice, too, because you can mutter to yourself and no one can hear.

Sometimes this helps to develop some clarity of thought about matters of great importance, but in this case I was stymied by the idea that there are some Democrats in California who have now decided that what a person does in his private life has some bearing on his fitness for public office. I always thought it did, but a few years ago I was scolded for being so narrow-minded and backward. Now, it seems I was right all along. I doubt I’ll get an apology, though.

Finished the yard and put away the threshing machine, took another shower and got ready to go over to Reba’s mom and dad’s for supper. Any other time I would beg off because I was SO FLIPPING TIRED, but they have cable, which meant access to ESPN, which meant I could get to watch the Auburn game.

Oh, and what a game!

This is the Auburn team that got picked to be the post-season champs—incredible work by the offensive line and by the defense. (Of course, some other bunch of guys showed up for the first two games, which is why the Tigers now hold the coveted #34 spot in the polls.)

They held the Vols to FOUR rushing yards—184 less than their season average! The Plainsmen did let a lot of balls fly around the secondary, letting Tennessee get just a bit too close for comfort, but overall it was a stellar effort and an exciting game against a solid, well-coached Volunteer team. (Then some moron had to nearly ruin everything by throwing a lit roll of toilet paper at Toomer’s Corner.)

Downside of all the festivities is that there were also little children who got to stay up well past their bedtimes, making for much crankiness when it was time to head home.

Home, bed, snore, up again for church.

Good lesson, but, as always, the calm and quietude of worship conspired with the pile of warm sleepy children snuggled up under me to nearly cause me to fall forward in a dead slumber. Which would probably have been embarrassing. Luckily, Jonathan has a habit of grabbing my hand and putting it on his head so I’ll rub on him and pat him while he naps, so that keeps me going. Most of the time.

Oh, and I had one of those OTHER terribly embarrassing moments—I had gone out between class and worship to put something in the van and noticed a car pull up and let an older lady and a little girl out at the canopy. I had never seen the car before, nor the lady, so as I got back to the building I walked over with a big smile and stuck out my hand and introduced myself. She told me her name and I asked, “Are y’all visiting with us today?”

“No. We’ve been coming here for a year and a half.”

Oops.

The tone of her voice was not the least bit pleasant.

I stammered around and told her I was very sorry that I had not gotten to meet her, and she allowed that her husband isn’t a church member and that they always sit in the back and leave as soon as church is over. “And we just come for preaching.” Five minutes before it starts, too, apparently.

Well, I guess I should do a better job of guarding the exits. But you know, I don’t think I would act all pained and get in a snit if someone didn’t recognize me, when I go out of my way to NOT be recognized. But that’s just me, I suppose.

On to home, lunch, laundry, house-cleaning, then time to get Rebecca ready for her game. I hate Sunday games—there’s no time to change from church clothes to jeans and back, so I usually wind up going in my suit, which looks darned weird. And it’s always hot. AND this one was going to be a late one, so Reba and the kids went on back to church and I took Bec to her game.

And in the rarest occurrence of the entire sports season so far, her team also won, thus meaning that ALL the kids won, as well as Auburn!!

Her game was a tight one from a scoring standpoint—the other team was held in check just about the entire time except for a couple of very fortunate goals. It had stayed 2-1 in our favor until about the 58th minute (out of 60), when they got a clear kick on a corner shot to tie it up 2-2. Our girls showed tremendous poise and went right back down and scored on a breakaway, with only a minute to spare. So they were very happy.

Back into the van, where we rolled back across the county as Middle Girl changed in the back seat into her church clothes, then we got to church very late and sneaked into the back row, then it was time for supper, then home again, jiggety-jig. Where I collapsed on the bed.

Then I got here, and it’s busy, and I haven’t had a whole lot of time for nothing fun, and now I have another meeting to go to and I’m real excited.

(Not really.)
posted by Terry at 2:25:00 PM