Let’s read my spam, shall we?

Just got this in my inbox. I have that Yahoo! thing that’s supposed to route spam to a big puke bucket, but occasionally some will get through (much to the consternation of Chet the E-Mail Boy, who says ‘Hi’, by the way).

Today was something that almost bordered on being notspam, in that it contained actual information that I could cut and paste here before deleting the thing. To whit:

Speaking/Presentation Tips

1. Rehearsing alone is better than not rehearsing at all, but not nearly as good as rehearsing in front of other people.

Unless you make naughty movies, but I suppose that’s not what they’re talking about.

2. A speech that READS well will sound HORRIBLE. (You must write for the ear, not the eye)

Well, I suppose if you can only have one or the other, it’s better for it to sound good, but sounding good and reading good are not mutually exclusive.

3. Don’t use a TelePrompTer unless you are willing to spend at least an entire day rehearsing. (If you don’t rehearse, you will sound like a boring, glassy-eyed, drone)

I wonder how glassy-eyed people sound? I guess they mean you will sound and LOOK like the Algorenator.

4. Only use humor if it makes a point.

And thus was Possumblog destroyed.

Actually, this is a good point. Very few people are really, REALLY funny, especially when it comes to off-the-cuff remarks, which is what gets a lot of politicians in so much trouble. Speaking in public means that no matter how you might have intended it, there is always the distinct possibility that you will be misquoted or misunderstood.

TV/Media Tips

5. It is not important that you repeat your message the same way, word for word, each time.

6. It is not important that you use the same examples each time you present your message.

7. It is important that you stick to the same message points over and over again within any one interview.

Sorry, but to me, anyone who keeps talking the same message points over and over, whether it’s in just one, or in many different interviews, is just a derned crank.

8. Don’t say "no comment," unless you want this to appear as your sound bite/quote.

Because “no comment” means “I’m guilty as the day is long.”

Crisis Communications Tip

9. Never use humor, sarcasm or irony with the media during a crisis.

That almost seems as obvious as “This Drycleaning Bag Is Not A Toy”, but you see folks try to do it every day.

10. If the subject matter is something you’d rather not talk about, you still need to call back reporters. Otherwise you can be made to look worse and will have no influence on the story.

Surely they aren’t suggesting that journalists have biases?! Nah.

Anyway, my bigger question is, “Is it wrong to plagiarize spam?”
posted by Terry at 3:35:00 PM