Spreading like a plague...

The mighty and terrifying Axis of Weevil grows ever larger and more unweildy with the addition of a new member, who had the good sense to write to World Headquarters and lavish me with constant positive reinforcement!

Quite by accident, a friend of young Allison Lane's found Possumblog, and sent her a link to some stupid drivel I wrote way back when. Allison liked it (along my recipe for grilled manatee steaks) so much that she felt compelled to roust Chet the E-Mail Boy from his slumber just to let me know.

A strict sense of modesty forbids me from going into detail about the glowing praise Allison heaped upon the editorial output of this shop, but I will allow that it made me blush from the top of my head to the very end of my naked prehensile tail.

AND THEN... Allison noted that she herself had become addicted to blogging, AND that she slaked her habit only minutes to the north of me in the throbbing metropolis of Pinson, Alabama! Chet was now a blur of activity as he shuffled back and forth to his machinery, and at last, the deal was done--yet ANOTHER poor soul overjoyed participant has agreed to enter into the Yellowhammer State Blogging and Alpine Skiing Club! History major, Pepsi drinker, fan of actors with failing dental health--she has it all!

SO THEN, having read and accepted the Terms and Conditions and Rules and Stuff for admission into our august ranks, by the power vested me by the Ted who fixes the copier at the Alabama Department of Agriculture (Non-Game Meat Division), it is with great pride and a vigorous ritual paddling that we herewith and hereby induct and infest one Allison Lane with all the benefits and obligations pertaining to membership in the Axis of Weevil.

Congratulations, young lady, and as with all new members in our group, you will soon be receiving your very own World Famous Axis of Weevil Gift Pack, containing a slab of Dreamland ribs, a gallon jug of Milo's sweet tea; a G-Lox Wedgee gun rack from Mark's Outdoor Sports for your pickup truck, a package of Bubba's Beef Jerky (according to Dr. Weevil, this is homemade and is available only at the gas station at the end of Highway 82 in Bibb County); a three piece, 24 ounce box of Priester's Pecan Logs; a box of Jim Dandy grits; a 16 ounce bottle of Dale's Steak Sauce; AND a six pack of Buffalo Rock Ginger Ale.

Sadly, due to a backlog in orders for his special Dale Earnhart Commemorative rocks, Allison will receive not be receiving one of our friend Jimmy's painted rocks (this is the guy-from-next-door Jimmy-not Jimmy in Accounting) to place at the end of her driveway. HOWEVER, we are able to once again offer a coupon to have the roof of your trailer Kool-Sealed absolutely free from our good friends at Bama Trailer Supply.

So then, Allison, welcome, and remember to never leave anything in the office refrigerator for more than a week, and it's best to be sure your name's on it. Pencils and tape are in the office supply cabinet behind the janitor's closet.

Everyone go say hey!
posted by Terry at 11:11:00 AM