[...] Wet diapers are self-monitoring and will droop below the knees when full, so avoid the temptation to use the finger dipstick method. And, contrary to my expectations, Abby was not dressed in a 12-hour diaper when her mother left for an overnight trip yesterday. I thought surely, by now, those had been invented. Whadda I know?

Wearing a wet diaper is the adult equivalent of waddling around for hours straddling a wet Wall Street Journal. Hence, the diaperless state is much preferred to the diapered, and once disengaged from the soggy paper product, the semi-naked baby runs much faster through the house and is capable of finding hiding places the diapered are not capable of. [...]