Disturbing Search Requests--Good grief, what is WRONG with you people! Or, Fun With Referrer Logs

Welcome to the multitudes of you who managed to trip through the door into the Possumblog's plush, secret lair by Googling variations on the search string martin sheen janet reno kissing. Quite obviously, all of you are heralds of the Apocalypse.

Then there is the pervgoogler looking for naughty pictures of unclothed football players doing unspeakable things to each other. How, pray tell, do you know they're football players if they don't have uniforms on? It reminds me of the video of the ZZ Top song "My Head's In Mississippi" in which the lyrics say:

Last night I saw a cowgirl.
She was floatin' across the ceiling.
And last night I saw a naked cowgirl.
She was floatin' across the ceiling.
She was mumblin to some howlin' wolf
about some voodoo healin'.

Of course, she did have a cowboy hat on, so I guess that's how he knew she was a cowgirl. Maybe the boys are just wearing football helmets. I'm sure they will all be Tennessee and Florida helmets.

Then there is the request for clean simile soccer poem. Obviously, you're looking for Unremitting Verse.

And the request for andy griffith episode list mange--you are, of course, searching for Episode #122 from the fourth season "A Deal is a Dealer" in which Opie is suckered into buying worthless salve from the Miracle Salve Company in order to win a pony. Barney gets him out of the deal by convincing the salve salesmen that the salve is a cure for mange. Barney is so convincing as a vet'narian that Gomer winds up ordering a truckload of salve and sends it to Andy's house. (Remember, being part of the Axis of Weevil demands memorization of these facts and the ability to know where the information is stored for quick reference).

Finally, to the person searching for coupon steak escape, Duluth, we apologize, but due to a falling out with the ownership (they didn't want to keep sending me free meals for all of my family), we are no longer handing out coupons for the Steak Escape in Duluth. We have picked up Mr. Nick's Restaurant at 220 West Superior Street and Joyce Carlson's Kitchen at 5517 Grand Avenue. Also, when you're in Duluth, please remember to stop by Puglisi Gun Emporium at 1336 Commonwealth Avenue. (Don't let the William Jenning Bryan walking stick slip away!)

Well, that's all for now from the gaping maw of the Internet Search Engine Factory.
posted by Terry at 9:19:00 AM