George Lucas writes dialogue duller than a preschooler's scissors. George Lucas cannot direct actors; fine talent comes across so wooden that you expect the characters to die from Dutch Elm disease rather than lightsaber wounds. George Lucas cannot pace a movie; he simply shuffles back and forth between stories, leaning on John Williams' score to supply the drama. To repeat: can't write, can't direct, can't pace. These would seem to be liabilities in a movie director.

And if all you diehard geeks want to disagree, stop and realize that you know I am right. The first movie was great. The second was wonderful. The third had teddy bears in it. If you want to believe in a big, mythic tale that not only ends with singing teddy bears but has all the dead characters show up as ghosts to smile at the teddy bears and wave bye-bye, then you are still 13 years old. Grow up!