What do eggs and the Axis of Weevil have in common?
Well, among other things I could think of, both are now available in convenient packages of twelve!

I received the following yesterday from H.D. Miller:

Hi there,

I just stumbled across your blog and had to write you. I'm not quite eligible for the Axis of Weevil listing yet, but by August I might well be. I've just accepted a job in the History Dept. at Jacksonville State, and will be moving south in a couple of months...from Manhattan.

[Laudatory bits about the Possumblog edited out--there were pages and pages of it. If you count each letter of the alphabet as a page, there was.] I'll be reading you and your fellow Axis of Weevil members in preparation for the big move. Keep up the good work.

Ahhhh, excccccelent! Another drawn by the lure of the Cotton State! I did a quick bit of googling to find H.D.'s blog (since he didn't give it in his message) and found it under the banner of Travelling Shoes, which has the following intro:

It's been nearly three years since I've attached the "Travelling Shoes" brand name to my writing. The last issue of a zine to bear the name "Travelling Shoes", the much lauded "Authentic Seville" issue, appeared in the late Summer of 1999. That issue was not only my favorite, filled with what I thought was some of my best writing ever, but was remarkably time and energy consuming. Time and energy that subsequently had to go into more mundane projects, like the researching and writing of my dissertation.

My life is more managable now. My dissertation will be completely finished and submitted by early next month; I've managed to secure gainful (barely gainful) academic employment for next fall; and my personal life appears to be more or less stabilized. So, I've decided to revive the old zine, first as a blog, then as a more fully developed website, and finally a full-fledged paper publication. And with any luck, this evolution will take place over the course of the summer, ending with a new issue of the paper zine in late August.

In the meantime, I'll be posting things here. Most of it will be the usual blog stuff: light commentary on the news of the day mixed with masturbatory ego-stroking and boundless self-regard. Occasionally, I'll try to post pieces that would be more familiar to the regular readers of the old "Travelling Shoes", meaning a combination of history, humor, personal observation, and travel writing. Hopefully you won't find it too terribly boring.

With my beady eyes ablaze and my luxuriant fur atingle, I sent a reply to Mr. Miller:

Travelling shoes travelling some more, eh? Welcome in advance to Alabama.

As you know, the Axis of Weevil Board of Registrars is not real picky about immediate location, noting that a person must be born in, or have lived in, or WANT to live in Alabama--so if you want an early initiation, just say the word.

Also, being a sneaking, conniving, Yankee might work out to your advantage in this instance--as you may have read in earlier installments, the Axis of Weevil Gift Pack also contains an allotment of four comely, busty co-eds who shave their legs and wear makeup, but this is ONLY for those poor souls who live OUTSIDE the South (We know hard hard such things are to come by elsewhere). If you complete your handy email-in response card now, you can get the co-eds delivered forthwith. If you wait until you get here, you will have to select your own Gamehens at Jacksonville.

It's up to you.

Knowing a good deal when he saw it, H.D. gave his final answer:

Hmmmm, well that's an offer that's mighty hard to refuse, so count me in. Make me an official Weevilist.(Weevilo?)

As for being a yankee, I can only claim to be half yankee, and only if being from California counts as Yankee. And at that, my mother's family is all from Texas, Tennessee and North Carolina. (Although, my Father's family is pure Yankee from Pennsylvania.)

In any event... Cry Havoc and let slip the dogs of Blog!!!

Bwahhhahhhahhhhaaaa! The world is OURS! Sorry. That slipped out.

In any event, to answer H.D.'s questions, being from California is not considered being from Yankeeland. (Much to the relief of all who live above the Mason-Dixon Line).

So then, by the mighty power vested in me by the Alabama Department of Corrections and by the voices in my head, the right honorable H.D. Miller is hereby baptised into the Greater Alabama Artillery and Haiku Society, better known to some as the Axis of Weevil, with all of the burdens and mental problems concomitant thereto. Given his predilection for travel, Mr. Miller has been named as the Axis of Weevil Travel Coordinator and Cruise Director, and Special Emissary to William Shatner/Priceline.

As is our odd and socially-unacceptable custom, we are FedExing H.D. his very own Axis of Weevil Gift Pack, the contents of which have been discussed ad nauseum upon these very blog pages. We wish Mr. Miller a safe journey home from the wilds of Manhattan, and are sending a warning to the authorities in Calhoun County.

IN A RELATED STORY...

The Ole Miss Conservative Patrick Carver has decided that the South deserves another closely allied army of anti-idiotarians:

Calling all Magnolia Staters

Upon taking the advice of Lee Ann, I am officially announcing the creation of the "Delta Entente" (though "Catfish Confederacy" has a ring to it... and so does the "Magnolia Bloc") an alliance open to all bloggers hailing from the Mighty State of Mississippi. Together, we shall defend the honor of our fair state against savage Yankees and other scum forces. So if you fit the profile, please drop me a line.

The Axis of Weevil wishes to congratulate Mr. Carver for calling up the forces of M-I-crooked letter-crooked letter-I-crooked letter-crooked letter-I-humpback-humpback-I. We look forward to a long and fruitful alliance in the battle to spread the goodness of the South far and wide. Blogspeed, my friend!

AND, IN YET ANOTHER DEVELOPMENT...

Tennessee Naval Expeditionary Force Rear Admiral Rich Hailey of Shots Across the Bow notices that there are more than enough Southern bloggers to recreate the chariot race in Ben Hur or to have a SOUBLOGCON get-together for toasting marshmallows and playing tag. Such an outlandish idea has the full support of the Possumblog, and hopefully among all the Alablogistanis in the Axis of Weevil. Rich suggested a possible location of Atlanta--who else out there has some ideas about this? Contact Rich at rhailey931@yahoo.com
posted by Terry at 9:11:00 AM